Battle of Swampscott

Swampscott is a town of many things.  Temples, yamakas, malakas, beaches, and most of all, youth baseball.  It is mandatory to get your offspring at least 10 innings of soft-toss work before their third birthday.  Swampscott is the self-proclaimed meca of both jewish people and Little League Baseball.  Swampscott has produced many individual stars and teams  in this baseball arena, most of whom have finally hit paydirt, in the Nahant Softball League.  The Barbarians and Gulls are two of the biggest draws in the NSL and have mostly bread their talent overseas in Swampscott.  The Barbarians, a perenial NSL powerhouse, has mixed a group of grizzled veterans and new young talent, whom they have sapped away from the Gulls squad in an effort to monopolize Swampscott's softball talent.  The Gulls are a mishmash of former standouts from the mainland, behind a new look ace, D. Barile, who hails from the island, home of the NSL.  The Barbarains and Gulls faced off in a fierce battle on Friday night that ended with the Gulls on the winning side, downing the Barbarians 14 - 11.

The Gulls were blanked by B. Serino in the top half of the first who worked out of a jam.  The Gulls were without their ace and decided to throw G. Wattendorf on the mound, in the first start of his career.  Wattendorf had a unique if not awkward delivery, that resembled a women's bowling technique.  The young righty had major problems in the early going.  The only thing that was even remotely in the strikezone was a 55-mile an hour changeup with little to no movement.  The Barbarians responded with  homeruns by all three of their big bats, M. Pressman, C. Capinigro, and A. Stone all put softballs into the stands in deep left.  The Barbarians had a 4-0 cushion at the end of a half inning.

The Gulls were told to go pound sand, and replied "Aww, Naw, Hell Naw, Y'all went out an' done it", grabbing a pair of runs in the top of the second courtesy of the Kelliher brothers. The Gulls exploded again in the top of the third with help from a G. Wattendorf two run homerun which scored the lightning fast M. Lausier, who spends his offseason bartending at the famous watering hole Maddies, in old town Marblehead.  K. Kelliher struck again with a two out RBI to stretch the Gulls lead to 6-4.

The Barbarians however, would not go away and continued to hit G. Wattendorf early and often as the meat he was offering was being sent all over the Lowlands Field.  A. Stone took Wattendorf's first offering to pound town in his second at-bat, his second homerun of the contest, this one a two run shot.  J. Capinigro laced a double to right and scored on a B. Serino sac fly to put the Barbarians up 8-6.

The Kelliher brothers would strike gold again in the top of the sixth, both scoring to even the score at eight.  In the bottom of the sixth Wattendorf buckled down, but a double by T. Nicosia and a deep fly ball led to a two base tag and score, putting the Barbarians out in front 9-8.

The Gulls rallied the troops in the top of the seventh and final inning with an offensive explosion.  With one out, Wattendorf, fighting for a spot in the rotation rounded third as the ball came into the infield.  Wattendorf dove and slid safely into home with the second run of the inning to put the Gulls on top.   Unfortunetly headfirst slides into home were banned from the NSL to protect players from possible head and neck injuries.  Wattendorf should have been called out for the second out of the inning.  However, rookie umpire T. Lorenza was unaware of the rule change and couldn't implement the ruling.  The league investigated the incident and put Lorenza on suspension for not fulfilling his professional umpiring credit requirements for 2010.

The Gulls would go on to score six runs in the inning, creeping out in front, 14-9.  The Barbarians drew three straight walks and scored a pair in the final frame, but ultimately fall to the Gulls, 14-11.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1.NFL        11 - 0
2.BARB        8 - 3
3.GULLS       5 - 2
4.GEA         5 - 5
5.KNIGHTS     3 - 5
6.LYNN        3 - 5
7.GALAXY      1 - 8
8.OB LAND     0 - 7 
Lynn vs. Knights was rained out on Monday.

My Va Jay Jay

Lynn 22 - OB LAND 2
OB LAND faced off against Lynn in a battle for the basement.  The basement isn't somewhere you want to be, unless your a high school senior with a nice little romper room set up for yourself in your parents basement, otherwise, no bueno.  OB LAND, always gives maximum effort, however, the talent gap has been too much for the upstart ball club in the early going.  Lynn, who has had some trouble in the clubhouse amidst retirement rumors, needed a confidence boosting win.  Lynn got exactly what the doctor ordered, serving up a plate of Humbaby to OB Land, 22-2.

NFL 6 - GEA 5

Another day, another walkoff, another one-run win for NFL.  Can they do it?  Can they become the first team since the 1972 Miami Dolphins to go wire to wire and win the championship? Don't ask GEA pitcher C. Pantano, who walked in the tying run, and gave up the walk off single.  Pantano threw the game ball, like a shooting star in the night sky, into the surrounding bullrushes, and refused to shake hands with the opposing team.  Unfortunetly, the face of the GEA franchise is not a mirror image of itself.  Pantano was asked why he reacted the way he did and replied, "My Va-Jay-Jay was painin'".

Oprah actually coined the phrase "My Va-Jay-Jay is Painin".  I would love to take credit but its all Oprah's.


NFL           11 -  0
BARB          8 -  2
GULLS        4 - 2
GEA             5 - 5
KNIGHTS   3  - 5
LYNN         3  - 5
GALAXY    1  - 8
OB LAND   0  - 7

Recent Game Scores and Standings

Barbarians 11 - GEA 6
Barbarians continue to pull the proper strings, and are building confidence for a second championship run.  GEA, although highly competitive on the season and in the game, drop another tough game and remain a notch below the upper echilon teams in the NSL.

Gulls 9- Galaxy 0
The Gulls put it on a struggling Galaxy team who were blanked by D. Barile, who is having a career year.  Galaxy has know gone 14 innings without a run.  The Gulls are really putting it all together during their recent win streak.

NFL 5- Knights 4
The Knights let another mental lapse on defense cost them another close game to the undefeated NFL.  Clinging to a 4-2 lead, held up by a masterful effort by the P. O'Leary on the bump, the Knights had an  infield error followed by an outfield error with two out lead to two runs and a tie ballgame.  The Knights had runners on second and third in the top of the eight with one out and a weak line drive followed by a tailing liner to right left them with nothing.  A leadoff double by J. Osborne followed by a B. Brown walk allowed C. Alessi to smash O'Leary's first offering to the gap in left-center for the walk-off.

GEA 15 - OB LAND 5
GEA in a blowout, no shocker here.  GEA misteriously has reloaded mid-season and looks sharp.  OB LAND looks to avoid a second straight no-win season and possible ouster from the league.

Barbarians 23 - Lynn 5
Lynn lost their starting pitcher at the beginning of the game, who went down with a pinky toe injury.  J. Maggs stepped up in his abscence, but couldn't silence the powerful Barbarian lineup.  In the top of the fifth inning, a line drive shot came off the bat of one of the women at the adjacent field and towards Lynn's right fielder.  The Lynn player turned around, made a great backhand play and tossed the would-be homerun back in play.  The women of the Nahant Women's Softball League let him have it.  The Lynn player was surrounded in a mere seconds, and got whipped with 10" black dildos until the men's league umpires could break up the scuffle.  Bruised and battered, the right fielder stayed in the game, but the Barbarians were to much for a short-handed Lynn squad.

NFL 8 - Gulls 6
A great game between two quality clubs, was lost on errors.  NFL squeeks out another close one to remain undefeated.  NFL continues to get all the breaks and can finally see the light at the end of the undefeated season tunnel.  A question has risen on whether or not its luck, or a ball club, in a certain slow pitch softball era, that is playing the type of softball to be successful in this era.  The Gulls, playing really good ball of late, lose a heartbreaker.  If the Gulls can tighten up a few loose ends they could be a contender.

GEA 14 - Knights 3
The Knights squad, coming off a three day long bender on the island had trouble even making it down to the field on the monday after independence day, and GEA put a thrashing on the vombies that showed up at Lowlands field.  The Knights jumped on board first with a two-run top of the first, but it was very short lived.  A B. Guptill grand salami in the bottom with two outs put GEA out in front 6-2 and they never looked back.  The lone umpire botched a call in the third inning, a ball that was clearly caught by Knights right fielder C. Doucette.  Doucette bobbled the can of corn around in his big frying pan mit, but eventually held on.  The umpire went blind in his left, and brown eye at the exact moment Doucette made contact with the ball, and called it a drop.  P. Stubblefield threatened to kick the umpire right in his recently deemed useless brown eye, and was ejected from the game.  It was a straight road all downhill from there for the Knights, who couldn't get anything going at the plate and fell to a surging GEA, 13-3.  GEA made a new pickup out of the Swampscott farm system, a young talent who is said to be among the NCAA national leaders in home runs.  It was unclear at the published time of this article whether or not it was a legal pickup and to whether or not the league has received payment for the late pickup.

Barbarians 6 - Galaxy 0
The Barbarians continued their surge toward a second straight championship with a one-sided beatdown of Galaxy, who has been struggling mightily as of late.  The fifth straight day with temperatures reaching the ninetees had the Barbarians setting up a rehabilitation tent for their players adjacent to their dugout.  Galaxy made a late pickup of their own, a 15-year veteran, T. Ragusa.  Ragusa got his 1,000th hit and issued his 500th walk in the game, all the while pitching two scoreless innings in relief.


NFL           10 -  0
BARB          8 -  2
GULLS        4 - 2
GEA             5 - 4
KNIGHTS   3  - 5
BRICK        2  - 5
GALAXY    1  - 8
OB LAND   0  - 6

Still Going

NFL, built up of a generation of Nahanters.  These generations come around once every decade, when it just so happens that mothers on the island decided they were going to conceive a bunch of beer drinking, blue-collar, softball players.  This team is all of that, conceived in the late eighties, with one goal in mind, a NSL Championship.

Facing another similar generation (much like NFL, supplemented by some Swampscottians and Lynnards who have spent enough time on the island to be fathered in), of players conceived in the early seventies.

Galaxy continues to snooze on the defensive side, behind their hall of fame pitcher, to drop another, five to zip.

NFL is a sizzler in the summer heat, holding an 8-0 record and the league lead for runs scored and runs against.  A workhorse of a team, who is a mere games away from clinching a top three playoff birth, looks poised and polished, after years of alcohol abuse.

In a game that wasn't supposed to happen due to a tornado, two middle-of-the-pack teams met up in a barn burner.  The Gulls, always competitive, looked to continue a brief win streak and start to make some real noise.  The Brickyard, sorry, Lynn, at this point looks more like a squeaky wheel than the bass drum they were a few years back.  D. "El Rojo Tortuga" Barile had ice water in his veins in a close matchup that was very important for both clubs.  Brickyard threatened to come back in the bottom half  of the seventh, but were stymied by some good Gulls Defense.  Gulls take the game and move up, nine to seven.

Standings
1. NFL               8   -   0
2. BARB            5   -   2
3. GULLS          3   -   2
4.  GEA              3   -   3
5.  KNIGHTS    3   -   3
6. BRICK          2   -   4
8. GALAXY      1   -   6
8. OB LAND    0   -    5

Cy Young you ask, P. O'Leary, a front runner at the jump, is metsa, metsa after the first half. J. Moleti, looking to put the Moleti name on the brass again, is currently a runaway favorite.  B. Serino with four wins is in the mix, and D. Barile with one of only three winning records garners mention.

"Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer."   - Ted Williams

Reality

Softball? Really? Softball is for Girls.

I went up to the Middleton, MA batting cages last week to hone my already picturesque swing.  The same picturesque swing that is currently producing a zero game hit streak and a batting average that looks more like a bar tab.  Had my own bat in hand, took my wallet, cell phone, keys, pack of gum, business card, and straw wrapper and placed them on the token collector.  I was ready to mash.  "Dad, isn't softball for girls?"  I overheard a young boy say to his father in between my 3rd and 4th token.  "Come over here Timmy".  "Come over here Timmy?!" That is how you answer? C'mon Dad.  Tell Timmy how awesome I am.

I was literally tearing the yellow, potted, rubber covers off of those cantaloupes.  Peas, bombs, laser beams.  If only there were some Major League Softball scouts there.  As I finished my final token, and put my life back into my Khaki pockets, covered in sweat, dressed in a button down and loafers, I realize how big of a douche I am.

As I walk gingerly from the cage I hoped that, after putting Timmy in the baseball fast pitch as a twelve-year old, his father told him, "Yes Timmy, softball is for girls."

I WANT TO GO TO OB LAND!

June 16 OB Land vs. Nahant Knights

OB Land and The Nahant Knights faced off in an American League contest which was a battle of arguably the favorites to win the division vs. the favorites to tank the division.  P. O'leary got into mid-season form in the bottom half of the first inning.  O'Leary was the big story here fanning two en route to a big win.  The Knights played good defense against another subpar team, and their bats came alive, putting up multiple runs in each inning. OB Land mustered only two runs courtesy of a looping flare. A flare off the end of B. Bennet's wood, that cleared D. Walsh's outstretched, and then thrown glove, leading to an inside the park homer.  The homerun was very fitting so shortly after Father's Day,  for a guy who recently became the father of two, or as the man himself would call them, "seeds".  Knights in a blowout.


NFL vs. GEA
In interleague play, the "starting to slowly warm to room temperature"-GEA squad, battled their bitter rival, the undefeated NFL.  NFL couldn't be playing better ball, NFL-ball, the kind that has an undefeated season.  Even fringe guys are playing out-of-their-minds softball.  This team was looking to steam-roll GEA.  C. Pantano had a gutsy effort on the mound, alah Kanye, "though the wire".  The end result was another yawner, and another win for the League leading NFL.


GALAXY VS. LYNN
Lynn you ask?  Lynn is the team formerly known as Brickyard, the team formerly known as Champion, and the team formerly known as a contender.  Brickyard recently became Lynn and has since dawned prison orange and black as their colors.  One player on Brickyard, sorry, Lynn,  claimed it would make it easier for the Nahant cops to pick them out of a crowd.  Galaxy and Lynn battled in what was a must win for both teams, for both standings position and confidence.  Galaxy built an early lead, but horrendous defense led to Lynn creeping back into the game and eventually back out in front where they stayed for the win.

OB LAND VS. THE GULLS
OB Land.  It sounds like a traveling circus, slash carnival, that is based out of the Midwest. Nope, that's not it at all.  However; when you play OB Land things get a little weird.  M. O'Brien, like a character out of an M. Knight Shyalaman movie will warp your mind as if actually were  in, "OB Land".  OB Land was actually short for O'Brien's Landscaping, pitcher M. O'Briens new business venture, on the League produced schedule.  Coincidence, I think not.  OB Land was manufacturing, and D. Barile was all over the map, leading to a tight game right up until the final bell.  A discrepancy by the umpires and the Gulls coaching staff led to a four run inning, an inning that very well may have been a five run inning.  Unfortunately the Gulls didn't record the box score and could have possibly cost themselves a run.  With two on and two out, Barile settled in and got J. "Poodin" Bennet to ground out to short.

KNIGHTS VS. BARBARIANS
The Knights and the Barbarians faced off in interleague play in a highly anticipated game one of their two-game season series.  P. O'Leary aided by his Bee Eff Eff, liquid Jamison, was maxing and relaxing, chillaxing if you will.   But what is cooler than ice cold? J. Capinigro.  Capinigro stepped in for B. Serino who went on the DL with "tired and needed a nap", to pitch seven stone-cold innings against a stacked Knights lineup.  The Knights carried a two-run league into the fifth when the wheels came off.  With one out, a line drive squeaked by the Knights P. Stubblefield, and into the fescue, for a 2-run homerun.  A bad throwing error, and an equally bad three-base error call, led to a three run inning and the lead for the National League powerhouse.  O'Leary continued to mow down the Barbarians, but J. Capinigro would not go to bed, closing out the win for the defending champs.

Standings
1.  NFL                      7      -      0
2.  BARB                    5      -      2
3.  GEA                      3      -      3
4.  KNIGHTS            3      -      3
5.  GULLS                 2     -      2
6.  BRICK                 2     -      3
7.  GALAXY             1      -      5
8.  OB LAND            0      -      5

I WANT TO GO TO OB LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Certified Angus

The former two-time champion Brickyard, now only known as "Lynn" faced off against their bitter rival, the defending champion Barbarians in a blow-out.

The Barbarians made short work of J. Peterson in the first two innings, putting up a plethora of runs courtesy of the long ball.  One inning saw five balls leave the yard off of Barbarians bats.

The Brickyard failed to get any type of a rally going on offense, and was stymied on each and every run by a stout Barbarian defense.

The Brickyard outfield got beat deep on a number of deep fly balls, resulting in inside the park round-trippers  leading to the lopsided score.  After a ball that was fisted by one of the Barbarians batsmen out to deep left, the bat was called in to question.  A Miken Viscous, highly toxic, yet legal. 

Final Tally, Barbarians 17 - Brickyard 3

Standings
1.  NFL                       6      -      0
2.  BARB                    4      -      2
3.  GEA                      3      -      2
4.  KNIGHTS            2      -      2
5.  GULLS                 1      -      2
6.  BRICK                 1      -      3
7.  GALAXY             1      -      4
8.  OB LAND            0      -      3