Sticking It To The Man

I certainly get tired of doing the right thing, its strangely similar to how I feel about doing the wrong thing.

For instance, I spent a few extra minutes at the office today, and then had the honor of buying a new pair of work boots on the company dime.

First thing that came into my mind, nope not Timberland, Timberland would not suffice for this overachiever, was the Red Wing shoe outlet that lies just over the horizon from my office on Rt. 114. This is one of those times where you can always get what you want, and always get what you need, contrary to the wise words of MJ. By MJ I mean the white skinny little crackhead, not the blackish white one.

Upon my approach to the Red Wing Store, I have a realization. This realization was helped exponentially by the two salesmen who were sitting right in the door window adjacent to the entrance of the store. The realization that I was in fact going to Bob's Store, right in the neighboring shopping center.

These two salesmen, bored beyond belief, were like piranhas in a tank, teeth gritted, ready to tear my wallet out of my pocket, slide it through the card machine, and sell me a pair of $250.oo Red Wings, without me even saying a word.

For those of you who don't know, Red Wings are like the Cadillac of work boots, they have been around since 1905, they're made in the USA, and I've even heard them compared to an orgasm for your foot. I've never once even tried a pair on, but my feet could use a few orgasms. These blokes were going to stick it to me, while I was trying to stick it to the man. A stick can't be sticked, so onward I went, to Bob's.

Straight to the boot section, nobody within an ear shot, and I'm scoping some deals, after all, today, I'm a company man.

Not one of the fifty-two different boots that Bob's carries even interested me one bit. I scoped everything, from army boots to hiking shoes, police shit-kickers to wigger-kickers. I'm in there so long that the staff thinks I'm casing the joint.

Just as I'm getting ready to end the circus, and head over to get bent over and screwed at the Red Wing Store, I scope out a pair of Chipewas; waxed leather, foot vibrators, just the right size and on sale for $90.00 from $150.

Nobody's getting sticked today, today I'm doing the right thing.

Tommorow, I have a softball game, so if you need me I'll be doing the wrong thing. Sitting at the Knights of Columbus, at the end of the bar with a drink in my hand, talking about sex, drugs, and rock and roll.