Still Going

NFL, built up of a generation of Nahanters.  These generations come around once every decade, when it just so happens that mothers on the island decided they were going to conceive a bunch of beer drinking, blue-collar, softball players.  This team is all of that, conceived in the late eighties, with one goal in mind, a NSL Championship.

Facing another similar generation (much like NFL, supplemented by some Swampscottians and Lynnards who have spent enough time on the island to be fathered in), of players conceived in the early seventies.

Galaxy continues to snooze on the defensive side, behind their hall of fame pitcher, to drop another, five to zip.

NFL is a sizzler in the summer heat, holding an 8-0 record and the league lead for runs scored and runs against.  A workhorse of a team, who is a mere games away from clinching a top three playoff birth, looks poised and polished, after years of alcohol abuse.

In a game that wasn't supposed to happen due to a tornado, two middle-of-the-pack teams met up in a barn burner.  The Gulls, always competitive, looked to continue a brief win streak and start to make some real noise.  The Brickyard, sorry, Lynn, at this point looks more like a squeaky wheel than the bass drum they were a few years back.  D. "El Rojo Tortuga" Barile had ice water in his veins in a close matchup that was very important for both clubs.  Brickyard threatened to come back in the bottom half  of the seventh, but were stymied by some good Gulls Defense.  Gulls take the game and move up, nine to seven.

Standings
1. NFL               8   -   0
2. BARB            5   -   2
3. GULLS          3   -   2
4.  GEA              3   -   3
5.  KNIGHTS    3   -   3
6. BRICK          2   -   4
8. GALAXY      1   -   6
8. OB LAND    0   -    5

Cy Young you ask, P. O'Leary, a front runner at the jump, is metsa, metsa after the first half. J. Moleti, looking to put the Moleti name on the brass again, is currently a runaway favorite.  B. Serino with four wins is in the mix, and D. Barile with one of only three winning records garners mention.

"Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer."   - Ted Williams

Reality

Softball? Really? Softball is for Girls.

I went up to the Middleton, MA batting cages last week to hone my already picturesque swing.  The same picturesque swing that is currently producing a zero game hit streak and a batting average that looks more like a bar tab.  Had my own bat in hand, took my wallet, cell phone, keys, pack of gum, business card, and straw wrapper and placed them on the token collector.  I was ready to mash.  "Dad, isn't softball for girls?"  I overheard a young boy say to his father in between my 3rd and 4th token.  "Come over here Timmy".  "Come over here Timmy?!" That is how you answer? C'mon Dad.  Tell Timmy how awesome I am.

I was literally tearing the yellow, potted, rubber covers off of those cantaloupes.  Peas, bombs, laser beams.  If only there were some Major League Softball scouts there.  As I finished my final token, and put my life back into my Khaki pockets, covered in sweat, dressed in a button down and loafers, I realize how big of a douche I am.

As I walk gingerly from the cage I hoped that, after putting Timmy in the baseball fast pitch as a twelve-year old, his father told him, "Yes Timmy, softball is for girls."

I WANT TO GO TO OB LAND!

June 16 OB Land vs. Nahant Knights

OB Land and The Nahant Knights faced off in an American League contest which was a battle of arguably the favorites to win the division vs. the favorites to tank the division.  P. O'leary got into mid-season form in the bottom half of the first inning.  O'Leary was the big story here fanning two en route to a big win.  The Knights played good defense against another subpar team, and their bats came alive, putting up multiple runs in each inning. OB Land mustered only two runs courtesy of a looping flare. A flare off the end of B. Bennet's wood, that cleared D. Walsh's outstretched, and then thrown glove, leading to an inside the park homer.  The homerun was very fitting so shortly after Father's Day,  for a guy who recently became the father of two, or as the man himself would call them, "seeds".  Knights in a blowout.


NFL vs. GEA
In interleague play, the "starting to slowly warm to room temperature"-GEA squad, battled their bitter rival, the undefeated NFL.  NFL couldn't be playing better ball, NFL-ball, the kind that has an undefeated season.  Even fringe guys are playing out-of-their-minds softball.  This team was looking to steam-roll GEA.  C. Pantano had a gutsy effort on the mound, alah Kanye, "though the wire".  The end result was another yawner, and another win for the League leading NFL.


GALAXY VS. LYNN
Lynn you ask?  Lynn is the team formerly known as Brickyard, the team formerly known as Champion, and the team formerly known as a contender.  Brickyard recently became Lynn and has since dawned prison orange and black as their colors.  One player on Brickyard, sorry, Lynn,  claimed it would make it easier for the Nahant cops to pick them out of a crowd.  Galaxy and Lynn battled in what was a must win for both teams, for both standings position and confidence.  Galaxy built an early lead, but horrendous defense led to Lynn creeping back into the game and eventually back out in front where they stayed for the win.

OB LAND VS. THE GULLS
OB Land.  It sounds like a traveling circus, slash carnival, that is based out of the Midwest. Nope, that's not it at all.  However; when you play OB Land things get a little weird.  M. O'Brien, like a character out of an M. Knight Shyalaman movie will warp your mind as if actually were  in, "OB Land".  OB Land was actually short for O'Brien's Landscaping, pitcher M. O'Briens new business venture, on the League produced schedule.  Coincidence, I think not.  OB Land was manufacturing, and D. Barile was all over the map, leading to a tight game right up until the final bell.  A discrepancy by the umpires and the Gulls coaching staff led to a four run inning, an inning that very well may have been a five run inning.  Unfortunately the Gulls didn't record the box score and could have possibly cost themselves a run.  With two on and two out, Barile settled in and got J. "Poodin" Bennet to ground out to short.

KNIGHTS VS. BARBARIANS
The Knights and the Barbarians faced off in interleague play in a highly anticipated game one of their two-game season series.  P. O'Leary aided by his Bee Eff Eff, liquid Jamison, was maxing and relaxing, chillaxing if you will.   But what is cooler than ice cold? J. Capinigro.  Capinigro stepped in for B. Serino who went on the DL with "tired and needed a nap", to pitch seven stone-cold innings against a stacked Knights lineup.  The Knights carried a two-run league into the fifth when the wheels came off.  With one out, a line drive squeaked by the Knights P. Stubblefield, and into the fescue, for a 2-run homerun.  A bad throwing error, and an equally bad three-base error call, led to a three run inning and the lead for the National League powerhouse.  O'Leary continued to mow down the Barbarians, but J. Capinigro would not go to bed, closing out the win for the defending champs.

Standings
1.  NFL                      7      -      0
2.  BARB                    5      -      2
3.  GEA                      3      -      3
4.  KNIGHTS            3      -      3
5.  GULLS                 2     -      2
6.  BRICK                 2     -      3
7.  GALAXY             1      -      5
8.  OB LAND            0      -      5

I WANT TO GO TO OB LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Certified Angus

The former two-time champion Brickyard, now only known as "Lynn" faced off against their bitter rival, the defending champion Barbarians in a blow-out.

The Barbarians made short work of J. Peterson in the first two innings, putting up a plethora of runs courtesy of the long ball.  One inning saw five balls leave the yard off of Barbarians bats.

The Brickyard failed to get any type of a rally going on offense, and was stymied on each and every run by a stout Barbarian defense.

The Brickyard outfield got beat deep on a number of deep fly balls, resulting in inside the park round-trippers  leading to the lopsided score.  After a ball that was fisted by one of the Barbarians batsmen out to deep left, the bat was called in to question.  A Miken Viscous, highly toxic, yet legal. 

Final Tally, Barbarians 17 - Brickyard 3

Standings
1.  NFL                       6      -      0
2.  BARB                    4      -      2
3.  GEA                      3      -      2
4.  KNIGHTS            2      -      2
5.  GULLS                 1      -      2
6.  BRICK                 1      -      3
7.  GALAXY             1      -      4
8.  OB LAND            0      -      3

First Quarter Blurbs

A 223.5 pound deer was seen drinking from empty beer cans and wine bottles on shirt beach while fondeling itself.  Upon sighting the deer lept over the rocks in a single bound towards and past the softball field shortly after a game.  It appeared to go unoticed as players and fans alike chaulked the odd sight up to years of alcohol consumption.

Two players from OB Land were caught making love in the bushes and were immediately tossed from the game.

All bats have been approved and the new league rule has been a huge success thus far.  The new balls are also a great success, as run production and home run totals have remained equal to last years totals to this point.

D.U.I.'s are being given out like ectasy pills at a rave leaving the island after 11 p.m.  Watch your ass, seabass.

$800 worth of clay remains under a tarp behind the backstop, sweet!

The left field fence looks like an eightees porno.  Yep, you could rest a tea cup on it.

The last two items will need to be addressed over the all-star break.  A crew will be organized to revamp the aging field and bring it back to its pre-apocolypse glory.

NFL has come out on fire as usual, stemming from off season practice and the fear of being shut out of the in-crowd due to a slump or a bad error.  Very talented, these youngsters haven't lost much of their speed or ability to revover from an alcohol-induced coma with another year under their belt.

Galaxy has had early season problems with attendance and defense just like every year.  Much of their talent remains M.I.A.  The only thing lower than them right now (besides OB Land) is whale shit, whale shit sinks to the bottom.

The Barbarians have looked good, but not great, and are still working out some kinks.  They should be a contender once they load all their guns.

The Knights are as good as anyone on paper, but intensity and focus remain issues with this talented franchise.  Also the best looking team in the league.

The Brickyard has been woeful in the early going.  Much of their championship core remains, but much of the top-tier talent has been lost inside a bottle of Budweiser.  This team could make some noise if they can ever round into shape.

GEA is the biggest surprise of the first quarter and finally look like they have the talent to win a title.  Their ace, C. Pantano went down last week in one of the more gruesome injuries in the history of the NSL.  A broken jaw resulting from a collision with his catcher.  Still alot of "ifs" surrounding this team going forward.

The Gulls remain a "middle of the pack" squad as they look get on a win streak to make up some ground in the standings.  A winning season rests on their shortstops ailing hamstring.

OB Land is as advertised, winless and shameless.  Their coach and star infielder were caught touching private parts in just their second game of the year and were ejaculated from the game.

Standings

NFL                   6    -       0
BARB                3    -       2
GEA                  3    -       2
KNIGHTS         2    -       2
GULLS              1     -      2
BRICK              1     -      2
GALAXY          1     -      4
OB LAND         0     -      3

Barbarians vs. Brickyard tonight.