Game 1 - Shit, They Were Hittin' Peas

There are many words that can describe a well hit baseball or softball. A scorcher refers to a sharply hit top spin grounder, a bomb, a towering deep home-run. The term rope would be synonymous to a hard line drive. A pea; that would describe a ball that was hit so incredibly fucking hard, that it looked like a pea to the naked human eye. A pea; the smallest of all vegetables, shot out of a canon.

In game 1 of the finals, the Galaxy lineup from top to bottom hit peas, to all fields, all-night, and caught a Barbarians squad with a hefty hangover still lingering from their epic semi-final series with the Knights of Columbus.

Galaxy cruised to an easy victory behind their solid hitting to take the all important game 1. The media and fans alike had been firmly on the Galaxy band wagon and the big win in the opening tilt, confirmed any speculation that Galaxy was going to be tired from taking the scenic route to the final series.

R. Moleti was his normal self on the mound, pitching out of some jams to get the win. P. Mignone got the start for the Barbarians, and struggled to get into a groove. B. Serino, the Barbarian's ace, showed up late due to a second gig as a fish thrower in Seattle. His flight was delayed. Roster issues marred the start of the finals, as K. Howard suited up for Galaxy after spending most of the year in Triple A honing his swing. In response, The Barbarians optioned J. Tracy off the 45-day Disabled List, where he spent most of the season. It was unclear whether or not either stand-out was eligible for the playoffs; however, both were granted eligibility by both league officials and the acting umpiring staff. K. Howard's presence was felt early with a tape-measure,two run home-run to the gap in right center that found Sandlot pitcher M. O'Briens makeshift residential dwelling on Short Beach. J. Tracy added some depth to the already stacked Barbarian outfield.

ASA 2004.

Words that will be remembered in 2010, as officiating dropped the ball on a bat rule put into place in the this past off season.

Fans and players heard murmurs of an illegal bat being utilized by Galaxy. Galaxy management claimed to have no knowledge of a bat rule or the origin of the so-called illegal bat. A Miken, that had not made the cut as a ASA 2004 certified bat, that would have made it legal for usage in the NSL.

The uproar was meek, as teams who had fallen to Galaxy knew all was lost for their season, regardless of how much they pissed, moaned, and whined.

Galaxy captured home field advantage with a game 1 win, the Barbarians did what any franchise would do in the situation, and had UPS overnight the same bat to Barbarian headquarters. Word on the street is that a former Barbarian was in close with UPS and pulled some strings(broke a leg) to get the bat on time.

Game 2 and three later this week............

Rainbow Snowcone Please

On a sunny, calm day, The Barbarians made there way down to the Lowlands Field to take on The Knights of Columbus in game three of the Semifinals, backpacked on their first ever, shut-out loss.

The Knights and P. O'Leary were riding high, after the Cy Young candidate blanked the best lineup in the league. B. Serino looked focused during pre-game, sticking to his game plan of mixing pitches and locations and letting his field play behind him.

The game got under way with the Knights in the top of the first, putting up a heart-renching, shut-out-thought-provoking-run via a J. Ragusa double and a A. Uzcetegui RBI single.

After a one-two-three inning which saw the Barbarians vaunted top-three go down on a line-out and a couple of hard hit grounders, visions of the trophy danced in the heads of Knights Nation.

However, the Barbarians had a bull on the mound, and B. Serino pitched through his own scoreless top inning.

The Barbarians finally came through with the game tying run, their first in nine innings. After a short huddle, some chest bumping, and some go-knad punches, The Barbarians put their stank faces on.

The Knights would score a pair to take a two run lead, only to see the bottom of the Barbarians lineup done do it to em' again. A momentum-killing four run inning would put the Barbarians out in front with J. Capiningro, D. Johnson, A. Bissenti, P. Harmon, I. Amar., and a one-legged, P. Mignone doing the killing for a change.

The Barbarians would rattle of three more insurance runs, a rally that was helped by a routine flare that scooted the boot on the Knight's short fielder.

O'Leary kept the Knights in the ballgame by starching the Barbarians all-stars who were quiet all series.

The Knights came up in the top of the seventh chasing four. P. Stubblefield started the inning with a seeing-eye single and was moved along by another Uzcetegui double. A. Merenghi, the saw-chopping first baseman of the Knights, drove in the two runs to creep back into the fire-fight.
After C. Carpenter legged out a double to sneak into scoring potion, Z. Taylor was poised to create a name for himself with the press and fans alike.

Taylor took a good look at B. Serino, taking a strike whilst knowing the emencity of the situation. Serino hung a curve and Taylor put a strike into it, sending a pea out to the gap in right-center. The crowd erupted as the Barbarian's outfielder W. Geraci looked to have misplayed the tailing liner. Geraci recovered in time to make a leap at the ball, partially knocking it into the air, before snagging it in the tip of his glove.

The play was an epic end to an epic series, clinching a Finals appearance for the Barbarians against the red-hot Galaxy. The Barbarians, after finishing a calm-collected second in the regular season see themselves where they thought they would be. Galaxy, after a roller-coaster season, buckled down in the playoffs to run the table, after a sixth place finish.

Old-Man Strength

Old-Man Strength, words that describe the second puberty that certain individuals experience, is an Incredible Hulk-like metamorphosis that some men go through in their late twenties or early thirties, where their strength miraculously increases, without any lifting, or outside stimulus.

Nature has created this phenomenon and it is known by many. Strangely enough, doctors and scientists have yet to come up with a explanation for the anomaly.

It is clear, that in the Nahant Softball League, a bounty of old-man strength is key to both long term success and winning championships. Younger teams that lack the proper mix of speed, athleticism, and old-man strength haven't been regulars atop the podium as the Trophy's mix of names from past champions can attest.

Unfortunately for the young NFL ballclub, youth, coupled with a long layoff, caught up to them, and their lack of old-man strength led to their demise.

Galaxy was riding a wave of momentum coming off upset wins against The Gulls, GEA, and the Brickyard consecutively. NFL on the other hand had laid dormant for two weeks while Galaxy laid the rest of the competition to rest, in their beds, with their boy size diapers on.

Old-man strength is a strange animal, it is a double edge sword in the fact that with it comes horrible side effects that are not all pretty.

Back pain, baldness, body hair, dick shrinkage, not necessarily things a man looks forward to in life.

However, the ability to protect your young, move furniture, rake leaves, and most importantly, smash the ever-living-shit out of a Thunder Heat standard NSL issue softball, are among very attractive consequences of your second puberty.

Galaxy molded a group of young athletes with enough man strength to sneak by NFL. By playing quality defense behind R. Moleti who has been lights out in 09' Galaxy put themselves into position to win another title for the long-time franchise.

In a closely contested game one, NFL showed some diamond rust making some key errors that led to much needed runs for Galaxy.

Moleti kept the speedy, potent top of the NFL order off the base baths to help Galaxy earn a win in a barn-burner, 4-3.

Game two was much the same with some good defense by Galaxy. The veteran bunch got key hits with runners in scoring position to vault them into the lead. With Moleti on the mound the small lead would hold up, as the bottom of NFL's order again struggled to get anything going against the classic Moleti cheese that had been gaining height with each additional contest. Galaxy put up eight runs, just enough to eek out another big win in their amazing playoff run.

Galaxy moves on to the final with a quarterfinal sweep of the penant winning NFL to face the winner of the Knighs vs. Barbarians Game 3.

Fortunately for the Galaxy squad they ate spinach at a young age, gaining enough man strength to tip the boat in their favor during their ride the the final. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, nature created old-man strength for a small group of females as well. Take it all in, and don't even question it, she'll destroy you.

All Knotted Up at One

The Barbarians and the Knights heated rivalry stems from an ball throwing incident in 2007 when the Knights were birthed as the Kelly Green Sox.

These two teams have become regulars in the postseason since there budding rivalry was born that year. Arguably the two best teams have played two of their best-of-three semi-final series to a stalemate, at one game a piece.

In game one, after a two week layoff for both squads, the Barbarians came out on top of what was a sloppy game on the defensive side of the ball.

The Knights took the first swings of the night of B. Serino as the away team, and made all of them count, chalking the new scoreboard for six runs. The Barbarians would'nt go away easy, and put up three runs of their own in the bottom, cutting the Knights big lead in half.

Both teams showed some major diamond rust in this battle and errors came in bunches, leading to a high scoring affair. The Knights kept their heads above water, carrying a one-run lead into the fifth inning.

The Barbarians lineup finally came alive in the fifth, posting a four-run inning, capturing their first lead of the game. Carrying a 16-12 lead into the top of the seventh, the Barbarians defense tightened up and B. Serino, with help of a run saving diving stab by J. Capanigro in right, shut the door for a 16-13 win.

Beating the Barbarians is a feat in itself, the beast of the NSL has only lost four games in the last two seasons. Shutting them out in a game, nearly impossible. However; ask Kevin Garnett, and Adidas, the sponsor that lines his three-foot long, custom, silk suit-pant pockets with millions, "impossible is nothing". P. O'Leary and his pitching mentor, B. Serino faced off in a pivital gametwo in the best-of-three semi-final series. P. O'Leary struggled with his control in game one, but after meeting with his pitching coach, twiqued his delivery and gained both control and velocity on his legendary cutter.

The Knights would win every frame, dotting the scoreboard for eight runs on some timely hitting and good baserunning. The Barbarians would threaten to score, but every time would come up short on some quality plays by the Knights defense coupled with the pinpoint accuracy of the big righty on the Knights hill.

P. O'Leary carried a no-hitter into the third and a shutout throuhgout. In the fifth inning O'Leary backed up on a two-hopper up the middle and took the third hop to the left eye, breaking the lense on his glasses, leaving a large gouge in the pitcher's brow. A quick visit to the trainer and some tape, and O'Leary was hurling once again. O'Leary induced yet another grounder right back at him and made a shovel throw with his glove to get the third out and preserve the shutout win ala Curt Schilling and his bloody sock. Knights won in impressive fashion, 8-0, forcing a game three Tuesday 8-25-2009 at 6pm.

There's a New Sheriff in Town

Errors, piss-poor hitting, explosions, glove-throwing, and in-fighting?

Not what fans have come to expect from the two-time defending champion Brickyard.

Strikeouts, lights-out pitching, timely-hitting, and good defense?

Until now, these words weren't readily associated with the Galaxy of 2009. However, this Galaxy playoff squad is rejuvinated, and continue to ride the red-hot, right arm of R. Moleti and the veteran leadership of their future hall-of-famers.

Galaxy grabbed an early lead courtesy of a C. Howard tater in the top of the first inning, basically all they needed with the high arcing cheese whiz that Moleti was offering the Brickyard sluggers.

The Brickyard couldn't get anything going at the plate as Moleti painted the corners and mixed speeds brilliantly. Many of the Brickyard's normally potent hitters resorted to a chopping, defensive swing yet still came up with nothing but fresh, salty, Nahant air. When they did connect, the stout Galaxy defense made all the plays.

Once again, the flame-throwing rookie for the Brickyard came up short, but to his credit, got very little help from his defense, or his offense. The yard broke the shut-out with a single run in the sixth inning, but were unable to mount any comeback, falling short of a three-peat, cementing the fact that this year, there will be a new sherriff in town.

All Galaxy All Day

Galaxy, after facing a tough foe in the Gulls, moved on to face an equally tough opponent in the surging George's Expert Auto (GEA) team. GEA has played well of late and looked to live up to fans and media expaectations of the young club. They would have a stern test against the good pitching and good bats of the veteran Galaxy group in just a one game playoff.

The young southpaw, C. Pantano took on R. Moleti in what turned out to be a very close ballgame. However the veteran got the best of the young hurler, as C. Pantano let his emotions get the best of him as GEA lost a barn-burner. Galaxy, coming off an emotion-filled, extra-innings victory over the Gulls extended their season by playing some gritty softball. The veteran club has mede the necessary changes and is riding a wave of momentum that could carry them to yet another crown.

R. Moleti was the story in this one, notching four strikeouts and carrying a shutout into the seventh and final inning.

In typical fashion, GEA waited until the latter innings to get their bats going, but Galaxy's defense shut the door on the young club's season with a 6-4 victory and move on to face the defending champ Brickyard.

In Another Galaxy, Far, Far, Away

The Galaxy vs. Gulls game got under way in the eighth inning tied at 16 on a beautiful sunny friday afternoon. The game was sold-out, an attendance record for just one-inning of play.

GEA, who was set to play the winner of the matchup, canceled, using their single "lifeline", a policy recently put in place by the league, due to their ability to hang around hot young women and obligations to attend a keg party.

Both teams mulled over the opportunity to play a full seven innings, rather than a continuation, but after a team vote, the Gulls decided it was best for their club to just play a single frame with the top of their order set to bat, much to the chagrin of the ruccus crowd.

Members of the Brickyard, NFL, Knights, and a lone Barbarian were in the seats to scope out some competition and wet their pallets with frosty beverages. I smelt fresh tomatoes, and it wasn't a home made Barbarian Lasagna, but Bloody Mary's, the drink of choice for the Knights franchise.

R. Moleti took the hill in the top of the eighth with the task of retiring the top of the Gulls very talented lineup. His first task, the speedy M. Kelleher. Kelleher had a terrific at-bat, running the count full before drawing a leadoff walk. A base hit moved Kelleher to third and he would eventually score the go-ahead run. Galaxy looked to be in trouble when the Gulls had two on with two out, down by one, but a diving back-hand stop in the hole by shortstop N. Liston ended the threat.

D. Barille was once again tossing the softie for the Gulls and was faced with the bottom of the Galaxy order to end the game and move on. He disposed of J. Fiore who hit a lazy fly ball on the first pitch he saw.

M. Sippeleti, a talented righty batsmen, smoked a tailing one-hopper down the first base line that got through into right. As he rounded first he made contact with J. Durgin who grew roots in the baseline, giving him second on an interference call. Max Casper would move him to third on a seeing-eye single with two down.

N. Liston dusted off his 1984 Nolan Ryan Replica Addidas cleats and plodded towards the box. Thoughts of walking this alien-like creature from another Galaxy were short-lived with C. Howard
swinging lumber in the on-deck circle.

Liston dug in, and Barille reared back and fired a hanging curve that Liston sent on a line to the deepest part of the park and over the center-fielders head for the walkoff home-run.

In a post game interview, Liston was asked how he felt after one of the best innings played in his borderline hall-of-fame career. Liston responded by saying simply, "pretty good".

Extra, Extra, Read All About It

The Gulls moved on from their thrashing of the Sand Bar Pirates to face an aging Galaxy team looking to make another run at a title. Galaxy has infused some young talent with their wiley veterans, to be competitive once again in the deep waters that is the NSL. The Gulls looked impressive in smashing the Pirates and appear to have enough momentum to go on an epic playoff run.

D. "El Rojo Totuga"Barile, coming off the first playoff win of his career, was pitted against perenial Cy Young candidate R. Moleti, in what was a contrast in styles. Moleti tends to rely on his split seamer to try and blow batters away, while Barille, lacking the velocity on his fast ball, utilizes accuracy, and can be good when he is locating well.

This game was a battle throughout, with both sides trading blows early via the homerun. The game was never really in anybody's hands, as both sides were helped out by some timely taters. The Gulls got dingers out of A. Zimbaldi and D. Barille, who had a career day at the plate. C. Howard and N. Carmalingo went yard for Galaxy to help keep the veteran club close in the end.

Clinging to a lead down the stretch, the Gulls had a chance to close Galaxy out and move on, but a botched play at third, and an errant throw by the Gulls big righty, helped Galaxy tie the game at eleven.

Darkness rolled in, halting the game in extra innings all knotted up at eleven.

The two clubs will resume the game on Friday at 6pm sharp (as early as possible) with the eventual winner taking on GEA directly after.

Playoffs?

Most certainly a pirate would get the better of a seagull in a physical fight, ninety-nine times out of a hundred. Twas' not the case on monday night, as a group Screamin Seagulls beaked the piss out of a group of pirates in route to a monster win.

The playoffs are under way, and game one went as planned, with the Gulls dismantling the lowly Sandbar Pirtates in a lopsided 30-3 win.

M. O'Brien took the hill for the Pirates, trying to notch his first win of the season. O'Brien has had a few games of playoff expirience as a reliever for the Greensox in 2007 when the Greenies Ace was caught in a honeymoon hurricane. O'Brien pitched valiantly in both the 2007 game and in monday night's contest, but unfortunetly for the veteran hurler, the results were much the same.

D. Barille, after spending almost all of 2008 in the bullpen for the Gulls, got called as the starter in 2009 and has pitched an average season at best. The Gulls' middle of the order and defense has been key in all of the teams regular season wins.

The game remained surprisingly close through three innings, until the flood gates burst open, and the result was a sixteen run inning, putting the Gulls on top for good. The two teams looked like they were in different leagues, as the Gulls earned a confidence boosting win heading through a tough traverse that is the round robin playoff in the NSL, where the winner makes the final four. The Gulls move on to face Galaxy.

And Here We Go

Congratulations to Nahant Fish and Lobster, AKA NFL for hoisting their first regular season NSL pennant.

Final Regular Season Standings

1. NFL 11-3

2. Barbarians 10-4

3. Knights 10-4

4. Brickyard 9-5

5. GEA 9-5

6. Galaxy 5-9

7. Gulls 4-10

8. Sandbar Pirates 0-14

Monday: 8.Pirates vs. 7.Gulls

Tuesday : No Games

Wednesday : Winner of game 1 vs. 6.Galaxy

Thursday : Winner of Wednesday's Game vs. 5.GEA

Friday : Winner of Thursday's Game vs. 4. Brickyard

Monday : Best of Three Semifinal Game 1, 2. Barbarians vs. 3. Knights

Tuesday : Winner of Friday's Game vs. 1. NFL (best of Three)

Sloppy Mess

I've said it time and time again, the NSL is a mixing pot of different folks of different strokes, all with one common goal, have fun, and be messy from the hours of 6pm-8pm on weeknights during the summer months.

By messy, I don't mean getting dirt on your pants and hands, I mean forgetting things, like stressful bullshit, losing yourself in the moment, and losing control over things like bodily function and decision making. Normally the latter would cause you to make a life-altering mistake or end up in jail; however, in the shelter that is the NSL, these activities are practiced and promoted as a way of coping with reality. Winning a championship is just icing on the cake, it also makes an end-of-the-year open bar and lobster buffet taste that much sweeter.

There have been a few weeks of games, so a short synopsis will have to do to catch you up on what has become a heated race for both the top three spots, as well as the middle of the pack, in terms of playoff position.

On Monday, the two-time defending champion Brickyard took on a surging GEA club in a closely contested mathcup between two evenly matched, middle-of-the-pack teams. The Brickyard had been playing well as of late and looked to make a much needed late season run, and more importantly get the swagger back that they had in 07 and 08.

The Brickyard came out of the gate swinging, and put up three runs on some good hitting against GEA's quality southpaw, C. Pantano. The two teams would trade blows in the remaining innings and GEA got help from some poor baserunning by Brickyard, and a two-run tater from their mountain of a second baseman to tie the game at four. The game remained tied until the bottom of the seventh, when a line drive to the right-center gap resulted in a double with a two-base error, giving GEA the win.

Two games were played on Tuesday, The Knights vs. the Gulls, and The Brickyard vs. The Barbarians. The Barbarians were shorthanded against the defending champs, and could only field a team of nine. In a cheeky move, the Barbarians decided to dismiss the use of a second baseman in favor of four outfielders against the power-hitting Brickyard. Another game that came down to the last out, the Brickyard prevailed after the Barbarians decided to walk two batters to face D. Malloy who came through with the game winning single.

The Gulls, riding a two-game win streak over The Pirates and Galaxy, came into the game against the Knights looking to make a statement before the playoffs. Batting first, the Gulls hit the ball all over the field en-route to six runs. The Knights who are no strangers to come-backs, had dug themselves a deep hole against the talented Gulls. D. Barille kept the Knights offense silent until the bottom of the fifth inning where consecutive three-run home runs by D. O'Connor and C. Doucette tied the game with no outs. The Knights would rattle off another five runs for an eleven run inning. P. O'Leary closed the door in the latter innings for the Knights, completing the monumental come-back, all but securing a much-anticipated first round matchup with the Barbarians.

Standings

1. NFL 10-3

2. Barbarians 9-4

3. Knights 9-4

4. Brickyard 8-6

5. GEA 8-6

6. Galaxy 5-7

7. Gulls 4-10

8. Sandbar Pirates 0-13

Regular Season Remaining Games:

Tonight : Barbarians vs. Pirates

Tommorow : Knights vs. Galaxy

Friday: NFL vs. Galaxy

Playoffs: Monday August 6th, Gulls vs. Pirates.

Late Season Report

Things this season panned out much in the way that was predicted in the preseason in the fact that true parody does exist, however not quite to the degree that was predicted.

A run-of-the-mill season by the Barbarians has left them out in front again looking to run the table to end the season, and capture their second straight regular season pennant. Starting to play well of late with a revamped infield. Snakebitten in last years playoffs, if this team can get hot at the right time they will be a tough matchup for anybody.

NFL has had a surprising season, playing some above average defense and putting up a ton of runs in the early going running to an impressive record of 9-3, looking for their first top-three finish, ever. With the small ball era now dead, NFL needs an uptick in defense and pitching to make the finals.

The Knights have played quality ball all season, with the exception of a couple of lapses where the wheels came off . The Knights sit in third, still an outside shot of taking the penant. The Knights will need to play fundamental ball and avoid mental lapses to make another run.

GEA's record doesn't speak for the quality of softball that this team has played in 2009. Hittting and Pitching is much improved and this team has played in some closely contested losses. Player Personel eligibility questions will haunt this club entering the playoffs, but has a strong unit that can win on any given night. A late season win streak could improve their position.

The two time defending champ Brickyard's clubhouse was in diseray by midseason leading to some lopsided losses and doubt in their ability to play at a championship level. Existing skill players, a new righty fireballer on the mound, not to mention some of the most loyal fans in the league, and this team has an outside shot at a three-peat.

Galaxy has played well above expectations sitting in the middle of the pack with one last playoff run in the tank. Returning players from short stints on the DL could be the difference maker. Not a sure bet to win a game in the playoffs. Pitching and defense will be a key factor to winning playoff games for this club as runs have not come easy.

The Gulls had a very dissappointing season after a quality showing in 2008. Desire to win remains suspect, as does leadership. A good core of skill players could carry this team to a few much needed, moral boosting, playoff wins. Will have a very tough road to make it to the final four.

The Sandbar Pirates have played exactly as advertised this season, going eleven games without even sniffing a win. A good bet to go winless. The Pirates roster is beginning to thin out as players have started to lose interest, one and done.

Standings

1. Barbarians 9-2

2. NFL 9-3

3. Knights 8-3

4. GEA 6-5

5. Brickyard 5-5

6. Galaxy 5-6

7. Gulls 1-8

8. Sandbar 0-11

Thunder Heat

Two games were played in the soggy conditions that gripped the northeast on Thursday afternoon. At the Big Diamond The Barbarians matched up against their in-town rival, The Gulls. No big stories here except the Barbarians keep their win streak alive and move into first place. The Gulls look like a lock to play in the opening playoff game against the lowly Sand Bar Pirates.

NFL took on their in-town rival, the Knights at the Firehouse Field. NFL came right out of the gates and there small ball mentality and speed were a perfect blend for the smaller diamond. NFL jumped out to an early 9-0 lead after some good hitting and some equally poor defense from the Knights.

The Knights would come storming back and in the bottom of each inning, regardless of how many NFL put up, the Knights would tie the game.

The game was all knotted up at 14 going into the bottom of the seventh. The Knights had runners on first and third with two down when A. Alessi stepped into the plate. Alessi hit a hard ground ball in the hole between third and short and on a great play by J. Osborne, his third put-out of the inning, the game was sent into extra innings. NFL put up four spot in the top of the eight and shut down the Knights in the Bottom, finally winning an extra innings game after a couple of real heart-breakers.

BREAKING NEWS:

The Thunder Heat balls are Back. The Blue Dot Synthetic balls have been discontinued, leaving the league no choice but to go with the more hitter, and fan friendly Thunder Heat, Leather wrapped, skull crushers. Things just got a whole lot more interesting.

Sticking It To The Man

I certainly get tired of doing the right thing, its strangely similar to how I feel about doing the wrong thing.

For instance, I spent a few extra minutes at the office today, and then had the honor of buying a new pair of work boots on the company dime.

First thing that came into my mind, nope not Timberland, Timberland would not suffice for this overachiever, was the Red Wing shoe outlet that lies just over the horizon from my office on Rt. 114. This is one of those times where you can always get what you want, and always get what you need, contrary to the wise words of MJ. By MJ I mean the white skinny little crackhead, not the blackish white one.

Upon my approach to the Red Wing Store, I have a realization. This realization was helped exponentially by the two salesmen who were sitting right in the door window adjacent to the entrance of the store. The realization that I was in fact going to Bob's Store, right in the neighboring shopping center.

These two salesmen, bored beyond belief, were like piranhas in a tank, teeth gritted, ready to tear my wallet out of my pocket, slide it through the card machine, and sell me a pair of $250.oo Red Wings, without me even saying a word.

For those of you who don't know, Red Wings are like the Cadillac of work boots, they have been around since 1905, they're made in the USA, and I've even heard them compared to an orgasm for your foot. I've never once even tried a pair on, but my feet could use a few orgasms. These blokes were going to stick it to me, while I was trying to stick it to the man. A stick can't be sticked, so onward I went, to Bob's.

Straight to the boot section, nobody within an ear shot, and I'm scoping some deals, after all, today, I'm a company man.

Not one of the fifty-two different boots that Bob's carries even interested me one bit. I scoped everything, from army boots to hiking shoes, police shit-kickers to wigger-kickers. I'm in there so long that the staff thinks I'm casing the joint.

Just as I'm getting ready to end the circus, and head over to get bent over and screwed at the Red Wing Store, I scope out a pair of Chipewas; waxed leather, foot vibrators, just the right size and on sale for $90.00 from $150.

Nobody's getting sticked today, today I'm doing the right thing.

Tommorow, I have a softball game, so if you need me I'll be doing the wrong thing. Sitting at the Knights of Columbus, at the end of the bar with a drink in my hand, talking about sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Playoff Push (Updated Standings)

The Barbarians are on a late season playoff push, riding a three game win streak. Galaxy has been playing above expectations and has mixed some new young talent with veteran leadership to once again become a contender.

B. Serino faced off against R. Moleti in a matchup of two possible future NSL Hall of Famers. A contrast in pitching styles, with Serino relying on his knuckler and Moleti looking to blow you away with the high heater.

Serino has been dominant as of late and his knuckler was working again, carrying a 4-0 lead into the top of the seventh inning.

With two on and two out it was once again tis-himself, N. Liston and the plate. Liston hit a screaming-pee to the gap in right center and rounded third as the ball made its way back to the infield. In a major base running blunder, Liston was gunned down, preserving the victory for the Barbarians and moving them into a tie in first with NFL.

Monday was a matchup between bitter rivals, NFL and GEA. GEA got the better of NFL in their first matchup with the comeback of the year. NFL was looking to right the ship after a heartbreaking loss to the Barbarians.

An incredibly competitive ballgame ended up a tie after regulation. In extra innings it was a back and forth slugfest, with each teams exchanging runs through ten innings. Both J. Moleti and C. Pantano pitched their hearts out in a game that went two and a half hours. In the top of the eleventh GEA stormed forward with four runs and shut down NFL in the bottom to sweep the season series.

Standings

Barbarians 8-2

Don't let the two losses fool you, this team is still a beast.

NFL 8-3

Fading down the stretch, still a good bet to reach the finals.

Knights 7-2

Able to beat any team, "if " they play well.

Galaxy 5-5

Scary good at times, other times, just scary.

GEA 5-5

Sleeper pick to make the finals.

Brickyard 4-5

Defending champ can't be discounted, but playing poorly as of late.

Gulls 1-7

A threat in the opening round, could have issues in a three game set.

Sandbar 0-9

More than likely will become the second team ever to go winless.

Beers In My Lunchbag

Sometimes some of my good buddies will ask me if I ever open the fridge in the morning and think about cracking a beer. They almost feel wierd asking until of course I answer, "Every Fucking Day". As a matter of fact sometimes if I am stinging from a previous night of hard-fought softball I may even think about putting a couple twelve-ouncers in my lunch bag, no biggie.

Arguably the top four teams met this week in what could have possibly been a preview of the semi-finals.

Recent improvements to The Lowlands Field, home of the Nahant Softball League, has made it look more like a poor man's Fenway Park. Their is new clay that is soft as a baby's bottom, and the grass looked so good it may have been cut by the legendary "Mr." Joe Fazzolari, a top notch barber who gained fame from his version of the high-tight fade inside Rosa Brother's in Swampscott, MA.

Wednesday night was the much anticipated rematch between the Barbarians and NFL. NFL riding their small ball game, couldn't get it going against B. Serino, who painted all night long. Not giving in to NFL's walk first, hit later approach, the Barbarian's battery mixed the split seamer with a knuckleball, both of which found the zone consistently. The veteran infield of the Barbarians stifled the NFL batsmen, getting put outs on all the ground balls Serino produced. The bitter rivalry continues between the two teams with a split of the season series.

The Knights, looking to keep pace with the Barbarians in the standings, battled through adversity, to sweep the season series against the defending champion Brickyard. Riding their big Horse, P. O'Leary on the hill, the Knights looked to close the door on the Brickyard, who has ushered them out of the playoffs the last two years.

The Knights came out swinging, scoring in each of the first innings, capped by a three run tater by C. Carpenter, his first of the year. Carpenter is coming off a 120-day DL Stint after tearing his knee in a sexual romp at a swinger's party. The Knights would build a 6-0 lead and O'Leary was looking for his first shutout.

The Brickyard refused to fold, and matched up with O'Leary was the Brickyard's big rookie right-hander. The Brickyard made some uncharacteristic throwing errors to put themselves in a deep hole early. After letting up the homerun to Carpenter, the ace settled in striking out two of the next four batters he faced.

The "Yard" came storming back in the top half of the seventh inning, but fell short of a great come-back win, losing 8-5.

GEA played a makeup at the Firehouse Field against the winless Sand Bar Pirates. GEA got up big early and cruised to an easy victory. GEA, who looked to be done in the NSL, has gathered their team and are building toward a playoff run. T. Collins, SandBar's new pitcher, saw his league high ERA balloon to an all-time record of 15.00.

With the newly surfaced Lowlands field, additional seating, a tightly contested playoff race, and three Nahant contenders, the playoffs will be very interesting. So pack a brown bag lunch and be ready for some entertainment.

STANDINGS
NFL 8-2
BARB 7-2
KNIGHTS 7-2
GALAXY 5-3
GEA 4-5
BRICK 3-5
GULLS 1-7
SAND 0-9

New Surface

There have been a plethera of new games, including some very important matchups that have made the NSL standings become very interesting.

On Thursday of last week, the Knights took on a game GEA squad, who didn't have enough players to start the game. Finally fielding nine, GEA t0ok the field, only to see the Knights vaunted lineup put up at least two in the first three, building a six nothing lead.

C. Pantano pitched his britches off, but couldn't keep up with the big righty, P. O'Leary, the Knights Cy Young caliber pitcher. The Knights played another solid game on the defensive side of the ball and won another 10-3 ballgame.

Friday night was the much anticipated matchup between the two teams in last years finals, NFL vs. Brickyard. NFL continued its march towards first place with a much needed win over the team who swept them in last years final. The Brickyard has yet to show the trademark resiliency it had shown in 07 and 08 during back to back titles.

Galaxy also squared off against The Barbarians at the Firehouse Field on Friday night. The Barbarians got off of their recent slide to beat the Galaxy in convincing fashion to keep pace in the tight playoff race.

In the first weekend game of the year, NFL took on a struggling Gulls team, also at Firehouse Field. A competitive game eventually went to the red-hot NFL team, who are trying to distance themselves from the Barbarians and Knights.


The Galaxy got back on track on Monday taking a game from the lowly Sand Bar Pirates, who remain winless.

In a great game Tuesday, a new-look GEA team took on the Gulls. Both teams looked to build on a promising year in 2008 only to dissapoint in 09. GEA picked up some players from the Jesmond Nursing home and in a comeback victory beat the Gulls in a 7-6 ballgame in the final inning.

Makeup Schedule (All games played at the FireHouse Field)

MONDAY JUL 20 KNIGHTS vs GULLS
TUES JUL 21 BRICK vs BARB
WEDS JUL 22 SEASIDE vs GEA
THURS JUL 23 NFL vs KNIGHTS
FRI JUL 24 GALAXY vs GEA
TUES JUL 28 BRICK vs SEASIDE
WEDS JUL 29 GEA vs GULLS
THURS JUL 30 KNIGHTS vs GALAXY
FRI JUL 31 SEASIDE vs BARB
MON AUG 3 GALAXY vs GULLS

Also of Note: The Lowlands Field has been resurface with new clay.

Brass Monkey, That Funky Monkey

In a pivitol mid-season matchup, the Knights waged war against their arch-rival, The Barbarians.

The Barbarians have had the team formerly known as the Greensox number in recent years, beating them in their last five contests dating back to a controversial Greensox win in 2007 where the new, cheaper, pitcher-friendly ball was
first introduced.

Coming into the contest in a tie for second place in the standings, both teams needed a win to gain ground on the surging NFL squad.

P. O'Leary was on the rubber for the Knights, facing off against his former teammate and pitching mentor, B. Serino. O'Leary was featuring his trademark high-arcing junk and had the Barbarian's lineup off balance all night. The righty fire-baller got out of a bounty of jams, helped out by a stout Knight's defense that made key plays behind possibly the best battery in the league. The Knights got on the board first, scoring a run in the bottom of the first, winning the all-important opening frame.

The Barbarians came roaring back, helped by a close play at first that could have gone either way, scoring two runs with two outs to take a one-run lead. The ump heard an earfull from Knights bench-coach and Designated Hitter C. Turner. The Knights wasted little time, scoring three in the bottom of the third to take control.

Both offenses were slowed by some good defense and quality pitching on both sides until a 6-run explosion by the Knights put the Barbarians away, removing the monkey that had been living on their backs since early in 2007. The Knights took the win 10-3 and is now all alone in second place. The Barbarians fall into a tie in third with Galaxy.

The dead ball era is upon us in the NSL, with a newer, synthetic wrapped ball with less ball flight and less game life than the one used in previous seasons. A similar situation happened in the majors in the early 1900's, leading to an increased emphasis on quality hitting, fielding, and most importantly, pitching.

At this time the games tended to be low scoring, dominated by such pitchers as Walter Johnson, Cy Young, Christy Mathewson, Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown, and Grover Cleveland Alexander. These names will soon be replaced by P. O'Leary, R. Moleti, B. Serino, J. Moleti, etc. The games were so low scoring that the period 1900–1919 is commonly called the "dead-ball era". The term also accurately describes the condition of the actual "baseball" itself. Each baseball cost three dollars, a hefty sum at the time, equal to about $65 today. Our softballs cost three dollars, equal to about negative fifty nine dollars in 1915.

Club owners were therefore reluctant to spend much money on new balls, if not necessary. It was not unusual for a single baseball to last an entire game. By the end of the game, the ball would be dark with grass, mud, and tobacco juice, and it would be lumpy from contact with the bat.

As a consequence, home runs were rare, and the "inside game" dominated—singles, bunts, stolen bases, the hit-and-run play, and other tactics dominated the strategies of the time. Hitting methods like the Baltimore Chop were put into use to increase the number of infield singles.

The Lowlands Field has become a pitcher friendly park where runs are at a premium. Similar to the MLB in the early 18th century, a new brand of softball has been born with the new ball, and it is up to team's to adjust in order to stay afloat in the highly competitive Nahant Softball League.

NFL 6-1

KNIGHTS 5-2

BARBARIANS 4-2

GALAXY 4-2
BRICKYARD 3-3
GEA 2-4
GULLS 1-5
SANDBAR 0-6

Also of Note: NFL won a game played against the Sandbar Pirates that was played at the rotary field at the end of the causeway, the win is reflected in the standings above. No game was played on Tuesday.

Vagina Kick

Weather is the physics of the atmosphere, pressures, moisture levels, air masses, and wind patterns. Does anybody really give a fuck about any of this shit, most likely not. Every NewEnglander does however, give a shit about whether or not we can go down the beach, fish, play softball, and golf.

Mother Nature needs a swift kick in the vagina.

June of 2009 was the 4th cloudiest month ever in New England. Think about this for a second, that includes every month of the down right brutal New England winter. We had only 27 percent of the total amount of sunshine in June, which sucks even more considering the longest days of the year are in June, so the shitiness is multiplied. It was the sixth coolest June.

There is an explanation, we are actually in the Solar Minimum, which is a time of low sun activity, and yes I came up with that definition just from the connotation of the words. Minimum, not a lot, solar, sun. Simple. Also, a fucking Volcano, Mount Redoubt, erupted in Alaska this past spring spewing ash into the atmosphere. The jet stream is an upper level wind that blows west to east across the globe, it carries all these storms. Its parked on our heads. So, you do give a fuck about this shit, as do I, and my best solution is a vagina kick, go figure.

I'll tell you who likes to hand out vagina kicks, Barbarians, Barbarian is a term used to describe an uncivilized person, it can also be used to reference a brutal, cruel, warlike, insensitive person. Nothing is more insensitive that stealing a ball game.

It took one hour and fifteen minutes for the Barbarians to break the hearts of Brickyard Nation, and just one swing of the King Barbarian's Axe.

The Brickyard offense did not take long to get going, putting up two quick runs on a bevy of base hits coupled with a few walks.

The Barbarian lineup was stymied by the big rookie right-hander of the Brickyard, until M. Pressman, who jawed with the pitcher, hit a solo tater to deep left, to bring the Barbarians within one. The Brickyard came out firing after the altercation and had a seven run explosion helped by a three-run error by a Barbarian short fielder.

The fog rolled in in the fourth inning and with it, a stiff wind out to left, making it difficult for both the pitchers and the defense of both teams.

Down six, the Barbarians finally got it going, and stormed back into the ball game with some plate discipline and an exceptional game by the bottom of their order. The big inning was capped by a grand salami by C. Capanigro that found the bull rushes in left. B. Serino pitched a gritty game on the hill and had a monster day at the plate.

The Brickyard would not go away, and in the latter innings J. Peterson tied the ballgame with a solo shot that just curved around the pole in left. The Brickyard gained a one run lead and the big rookie looked to shut the door on another Barbarian come back victory. With one on it was Serino at the plate. Serino took and inside fastball to the gap in left center where it was scooped up and subsequently thrown into the stands.

Serino gained third on the overthrow and with one out and the game tied it was the King Barbarian who dug his cleats into the box. P. Capanigro won the game with a sac fly to center, completing a monumental come-back in some gnarly conditions.

Not surprisingly the rain is back, and we are currently on a one game per week schedule. However, there is a silver lining, saturday and sunday look beautiful with partly cloudy skies and temps in the high seventies to low eighties. So hold off on the vagina kick; for now.

NFL 5-1
BARBARIANS 4-1
GALAXY 4-2

KNIGHTS 4-2

BRICKYARD 3-3

GEA 2-4

GULLS 1-5

SANDBAR 0-5

9 Guys Burgers and Fries

The Nahant Softball League is a microcosm of Life itself, nowhere else in the world will you find a more diverse group of people congregating at a single venue.

I don't mean United Nations diverse, I mean good ol' boy America diverse, if I wanted the former I can go to Market Basket on a Saturday. Its a shame, but I had to play both a one-pitch softball, and a beach volleyball tournament that day.

The average age in the NSL is around 32, with the oldest checking it at 50, and the youngest, 18, ironically both hailing from the same team, Galaxy. There is a 52 year old on the Brickyard roster, but he hasn't played in enough games to be eligible for the survey.

There are people from all walks of life and its amazing when you really think about what each person in the NSL brings to this fucked up world.

For example, the Knights of Columbus squad consists of players whom are hovering around the average age for the NSL, and their occupations couldn't be any more different, yet somehow in between the lines they get it done.

These people are all contributing to society in their own way. The Knights have a pizza delivery man dawning the mask behind the plate, and a cell phone salesman on the rubber. Their Designated Hitter is a Loan Officer. In the infield, they have an electrician manning the hot corner, a scientist at short, a part-time carpenter at second, and financial expert at first.

In the outfield they have a mentor roaming center, a full-time carpenter in right, and a male model out in left. The short field consists of a correctional officer, a part-time real estate professional, a lifeguard, and a yaucht club manager. Amazingly the unemployment rate for the Knight's softball club is currently at 0%, but that is very likely to change. Its amazing because three players just recently secured jobs, one after a three year and one after a two year hiatus.

The rain held off for a portion of friday night and the Knights squared off against Galaxy in the first game that has been played in a while. Unfortunetly, this group of nailbangers, soil sniffers, roast beef couriers, baby-sitters, and bull shitters from the Knights, couldn't get it done inside the rain soaked lines of the Lowlands Field against the veteran Galaxy team.

Winning the coin toss, the Knights opted to bat first, and seeing that Galaxy had only nine guys, it should have been an advantage.

J. Ragusa led off the game for the Knights with a laser-beam single to left. Ragusa tried to turn the sure single into a double, and got gunned down by "tis-himself", N. Liston, playing his first game in left. R. Moleti retired the next two batters to end the top half.

P. O'Leary, who has been dominant as of late on the hill, saw his first offering sail deep to right off M. Sipileti's bat, just hooking around Frank and Sam's Pole, the shallowest part of the park. Galaxy put on a base hitting clinic for the next four innings, scratching the scoreboard for at least a two spot in each inning.


The normally reserved Galaxy team starting heckling the Knights squad after building a big lead. The Knights, who were visibly frustrated by the taunts, and thier lack of hitting, made some costly throwing and fielding errors, aiding Galaxy in the blowout. R. Moleti used the high wind to his advantage, and got out of a few jams to hold the Knights team to only 5 hits. Galaxy and the Knights are all knotted up at 4-2, good for a tie in second in the standings.

NFL 5-1
GALAXY 4-2

KNIGHTS 4-2

BARBARIANS 3-1

BRICKYARD 3-2

GEA 2-4

GULLS 1-5

SANDBAR 0-5

Also of Note: In the previous two Sand Bar Pirate's games it was actually T. (formerly the fastest man on the planet) Collins who pitched, not M. O'Brien.

Call Me Teddy Ballgame

As the United States economy cruises along on a low, even plane, following a sharp decline which has led to people's retirement funds to disappear, including 401K and IRA plans. Some people who were lucky, or not so lucky enough, to own stock have seen there worth plummet. People have gotten laid off and now everybody is scared, i mean buying a coffee in the morning from Dunks makes you feel guilty. You could have bought a bag of Green Mountain Coffee, which is rumored to be used at Dunkin Donuts anyway, for $5.99. That six bucks could stretch to upwards of 15 cups of Green Mountain coffee if your really frugal, a far cry from the two and a half medium regulars you would have had at Dunks.

A typical morning for the average American is a microcosm of their entire life as we know it. However, I am by know means an economic expert, I live each day trying to keep my percentages up.

By percentages I mean things like my batting and fielding percentages, slugging and on-base, and daily percentages. Eligible daily percentages include:

angry about the economy/life/career/vehicle/relationships/money,
relaxed,
drunk,
sleeping/being incoherent and,
chores.

A job or other responsibility, including, weddings, funerals, wakes, graduations, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and family fall under chores, so this category isn't always a bad thing despite the conotation.

Girlfriends fall under family, and masturbation of any kind falls under relaxed.

Myself,as well as many Americans try to play these percentages throughout life as a day to day means of coping with existence. My percentage of relaxed, drunk, and sleep/being incoherent must outweigh the percentage of anger about the above mentioned shitiness, and chores.

These categories very rarely coexist, the tricky part of life is to make these categories coexist to sway the percentages in your favor. For instance you can't really sleep or be incoherent during a funeral, or at your daughters dance recital. Most of the time you can't be drunk at your job. You can however, be incoherent, if you try hard enough, while shopping, masturbate with your girlfriend, or be drunk at a wedding, you can definetely be drunk while playing all-star calibur softball. I am an expert at that.

The worst part of it all, the most horrible category, the thoughts and anger about
the economy/life/career/vehicle/relationships/money, can be done at any time, while doing anything. The key is to balance these percentages so in the end your batting at a .400 clip.


Definitions:
1. in-co-her-ent, adj. :unable to think or express one's thoughts in a clear or orderly manner.
2. mi-cro-cosm, noun: anything that is regarded as a world in miniature.

I'm a Friend of Earl

ALS is often called Lou Gehrig's disease after Lou Gehrig, a hall-of-fame baseball player for the New York Yankees who was diagnosed with ALS in the 1930s.

In short, and I mean really short because it is incomprehensible to believe that the average "joe the plumber" could fully understand what ALS actually is scientifically. ALS damages motor nuerons, little messengers that swim through your body, sending messages from the brain to the spinal chord, and from the spinal chord to the muscles. Crazy shit. The messengers become weak and eventually non-existent, to the point where the individual is in fact, "paralyzed". However, someone with ALS, even at an advanced stage, can still see, hear, smell, and feel touch. The nerves that carry feelings of hot, cold, pain, pressure, or even being tickled, are not affected by Lou Gehrig's disease. The parts of the brain that allow us to think, remember, and learn are also not affected by the disease.

According to the ALS Association, about half of all people with ALS live at least 3 years after they find out they have the disease, and 20% (or 1 in five) live 5 years or more. As many as 10% will survive more than 10 years.

The legendary Gary "Earl" Hanson, a native Nahanter, has been living with the disease for twelve years, and is a testament to the love of his family and wife Cindi Hanson. I have to call him Earl, because although I don't know him personally I know his spirit, he gives each of us reason to live every day as if it were our last. He has touched everyone in town with his strength, and his family has shown that unconditional love can go a long way.

Earl, a former lobsterman, is the embodiment of everything that is Nahant. A small island town that living in, can only be truly appreciated by those who do it, and is everything that mainlanders think that it is, and more, "Summer in Nahant, Some Aren't".
You can't help but to look forward to the "Friends of Earl" One-Pitch Softball Tournament, where "yocal-locals" serve up ice cold Bud Lights and Bud Heavies, and some char-broiled hot-dogs. The construction of the sign, with the generous people's names who donated, is an event in itself, and reminds everyone who passes by it that the Summer is here. Since Earl, generations have gone through the tournament, an off-shoot of the Nahant Softball League, as many current players consider it the All-Star Break. The premise is pretty simple, donate to great cause, showcase your softball, ball-busting, and socializing skills, all while consuming copious amounts of hot-dogs, hamburgers, soda, and Captain's Pizza, a local favorite. The best part of the day is picking out your "Friends of Earl" tee-shirt. Every year its a new twist on the same favorite shirt with the Earl logo. If your really cool, you'll be sporting a 2002 "Friends of Earl" shirt to prove your faith to the cause. Long sleevers, tees, tanks, sweatshirts, muscle tees. This year they may have "Friend of Earl" rain gear. Its always a toss up, but no matter which one you pick you know your money went to a good cause, for Earl.

Everything on Saturday June 27 will be for Earl, even that first morning shit, shower, and shave, as you prepare for a day on the island. Earl has become more of a symbol for island life, as Nahanters do it big, as many will plan an epic Saturday lasting well through the weekend, into the next week, and spill into the fourth of July. A town where, for years had local laws limiting the distance that pedestrian traffic needed to be from a firework launch site, often times aiming directly overhead to inhance the "scare factor". I know Earl can see and hear me when I give him a casual "Whats up Earl" every year before I take the field. I also know Earl likes hot dogs and budwieser. I have an incling that our boy Earl also likes to play softball.

So this year, with my Bud Heavy in one hand, baseball glove and hotdog in the other, with a 1999 "Friends of Earl" Muscle tank on, I'm gonna tell Earl that, "If the guy on the hill gives me the inside cheese, I'm gonna hit the furthest fucking home run he has ever seen."

Soggy

"Long as I remember, the rain been comin' down,

"Clouds of myst'ry pourin', confusion on the ground,

"Good men through the ages, tryin' to find the sun,

"And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain."

-Creedence Clearwater Revival

Thursday's much anticipated matchup between the top two teams in the standings, NFL vs. Knights was cancelled do to inclement weather. Friday's matchup between the Barbarians and the Sand Bar Pirates looks like a wash as well. Batten down the hatches, its gonna be a while.

Standings

NFL 5-1

Knights 4-1
Barbarians 3-1

Galaxy 3-2

Brickyard 3-2
GEA 2-4

Gulls 1-5

Sand Bar 0-5

Jock Straps

I haven't thrown on a jock strap or a cup for quite some time. Not because I don't believe in jock straps and cups, but because I haven't been involved in an activity that requires me to do so. For a man to not believe in a jock strap, is like not believing in the use of his own penis, and that would be gay. Lets face it, nobody wants that. There are two types of cups that you can slip into your jock that I know of, the flat, triangle type, and the banana-rama. I played catcher throughout my short-lived baseball career and employed both types, and to be honest, I don't really have a preference, as long as my dick didn't get flattened. Both types performed adequaetely enough to prevent that from happening.


As far as I know, the jock can be worn alone, without underwear, or above the underwear, beneath the pants. A jock should never be worn over the pants, regardless of the situation.


The Barbarian's third baseman C. Capanigro had a major wardrobe malfunction prior to the game on Wednesday night. The malfunction was blamed on his trainer, who accidentily handed Capinigro his older brother's jock, a custom made, triple XL, that wouldn't fit snug enough under Capanigro's uniform. Hence, the jock had to be worn over the pants of the veteran third baseman who took it with a grain of salt.

B. Serino took to the rubber for the Barbarians facing off against D. Barile, who was brought out of the bullpen where he was a set-up man in 2008. Barile labored through a first inning where his defense was one step above inept. Barile has looked frustrated this year as his league high ERA has ballooned to near league record levels. The Barbarians took advantage of a soft defense and put up a two spot. Serino took the hill and was lights out from the get-go chasing his second Cy Young award in as many years. An error in the bottom led to a run scoring single by A. Zimbaldi. After a W. Geraci walk in the fourth C. Capinigro had no mobility issues stemming from the aformentioned wardrobe malfunction, and doubled in Geraci. G. Wattendorf led off the home half of the fourth with a solo shot to the gap in right-center. The Barbarians closed the door in the fourth with a four run rally capped by a RBI single by I. Imar. Serino used his knuckle ball to shut down the Gulls offense and glided to his third win of the season. C. Capinigro helped Serino out with an unassisted double play to end the game.

Scoring Summary:
Top of the First
Unknown - Barbarians with the help of three errors put up two runs.
Bottom of the First
J. Cronin reaches second on error
A. Zimbali single, J. Cronin scores
Top of the Fourth
W. Geraci Walk
C. Capanigro Doubles W. Geraci scores
Bottom of the Fourth
G. Wattendorf solo homerun
Top of the Fifth
M. Pressman reaches on error
E. Mcrina singles, Pressman to second
A. Bisenti doubles, M. Pressman scores, E. Mcrina to third
A. Stone doubles, E. Mcrina and A. Bisenti score
E. Imar singles, A. Stone scores

Standings

NFL 5-1
Knights 4-1

Barbarians 2-1
Galaxy 3-2
Brickyard 3-2

GEA 2-4
Gulls 1-4
Sand Bar 0-5

Also of note: T. "Scoopy" Lorenza has come full circle. Lorenza had hip surgery in 2006 and has been on the DL ever since. In a bold move, GEA has signed the veteran to lead the team and hopefully get them over the hump of a pretender, to a contender in 2009. Lorenza was signed to a one-year incentive-laden deal for the league minimum.

And: Final rosters are due by Friday June 19, 2009. No free-agent signings will be permitted after this date. Speak to the commissioner for details on roster submission.

Grand Theft Softball

Nahant locals are defined as agro. Agro is actually defined as "of or belonging to the fields or soil" and has been used to define locals of certain burrows as being aggresive and territorial. Locals in Nahant are all of these things. There is no visitor's center, and not a public parking spot past the Entering Nahant sign. Nahant is sometimes referred to as "Lynn Island", and very often when a Nahanter describes where they are from they say, "Nahant, you know, right next to Lynn". Its not that Nahant hates Lynn, Nahant hates everybody, it just so happens that Lynn is the closest bordering rival. Often times people from Lynn come to Nahant to borrow cans and bottles or maybe a bike or a car. However this usually is a bad idea, not only are the locals agro, but there is only one way in, and one way out. This mentality was on full display during the summer of 2007 when an unsuspecting foreigner (when I say foreigner I mean from another country, not city or town) came into Nahant to borrow a bike.

Originally written in May 2007:
An unidentified black man was seen riding on the handle bars of another unidentified man coming inbound on the Nahant Causway. A Nahant resident and firefighter saw the individual get dropped off at a Nahant home shortly after. The man proceeded to enter the garage at Nahant Road and grab a beautiful new ten-speed. Big mistake. As he peddled out of the drive-way with a smile on his face and a brand new bike, the Nahant resident started his chevy silverado and began his pursuit of the felon. The unidentified man had been down this road before, he knew what to do, peddle ,and peddle fast. Peddle is what the man did, and little did he know, in this town, it may have well been for his life. The Nahant resident jumped the curb in front of Captains, positioning his truck perfectly, and the felon t-boned the new ten-speed straight into the bed of the truck. Dazed and injured from the crash he took off on foot. He ran down Spring road as a crowd of 75-100 Nahanters screamed "get him, get him". An off duty State Police officer ran bare-footed and shirtless down Spring Road tackling and apprehending the mercenary. Bruised and beaten the felon cried out "But I only stole one bike!" Well, that ought to teach him.

Lynn however, has been known to come over to Nahant and steal a softball game or two, and even a title. The two-time defending champion Brickyard has made a living out of stealing softball games in Nahant over the past two years.

Brickyard, with their new ace on the bump, known only as Jim, was throwing his trademark high cheese, striking out four Galaxy batsmen on the night. R. Moleti struggled to find the strikezone, and walks coupled with some poor defense led to the eventual demise of Galaxy. The Galaxy lineup was puzzled at the plate and could only muster two runs on the night. The Brickyard strung hits together in the second, fourth, and fifth, each a three run inning. The Brickyard played some good defense behind their new ace and cruised to a 10-2 victory.