Batting Gloves are like Condoms

The age old question still beckons every man as he gets himself prepared for a night out, Is protection necessary tonight? Where you're going, and who you might be seeing plays a large role in whether or not your going to rumage through your everything drawer for that expired condom, or just save yourself the hassle. You can chalk up the chance sexual encounter as a pleasant surprise, or just utilize the "bail" method.

Some men and women live by condoms, fearing sexual diseases, or even worse, a kid. Others believe that getting gonerea is a small price to pay for the feeling of unprotected sex. The funny part is, most men would take a rash on their balls than have an unplanned baby in the oven. Women, not so much.

Buying condoms is similar to buying porn magazines. The most common, and supposedly easiest place to aquire these items is at a convinience store. This is actually strange to say because buying condoms or porn from a convinience store couldn't be any more inconvinient. First of all, the location of the porn is behind the counter, which means you have to stand in line with nothing in hand, perform a quick scan of the available smut, and quickly make a decision. "I'll take a pack of Marlborough Lites, and the latest issue of Eighteen and Horny". Luckily for you, the person in front of you is stalling with their reciept, and both her and the elderly woman behind you are utterly disgusted, because not only are you a smoker, you love filthy porn.

Condoms are very similar, except you can be alone in the contraseptives department and take your time to make a selection. Lubed, flavored, magnum, glow in the dark, endless shapes and sizes. Unfortunetly, due to convinience stores being horribly inconvinient, there aren't any self check-outs. You my friend, are on your way to the counter, econo-pack of protection in hand. You have no choice but to slap down your box of super-sized magnums down on the counter and pay the little Asian lady her 23 bucks for items you may never use.

Batting gloves are like condoms, some men and women live and die by them, others prefer the soft, subtle feel of the shaft of an aluminum bat in their hands. Batting gloves provide protection from the vibrations of the bat coming into contact with the ball and have nothing to do with reproduction control, although knowing some of the dick-slingers in the Nahant Softball League, it could be a contraseptive.

Batting gloves come in different shapes, sizes, colors, and brands, and much like condoms, it is rare that another man would ask to borrow your batting gloves. Condoms are usually a one-time use and discard, batting gloves however have a much longer shelf life and can be re-used. Much like a condom, if you were to try and squeeze into a pair that were to small, the reservoir tip or tips would be far to large, and you would be risking parenthood, or even worse, a strikeout. Due to the chance of stretching, it is uncommon to see players sharing their batting gloves. The reasons are endless as to why a man wouldn't borrow another man's condom.

The Gulls needed some added protection last thursday night, because NFL fucked them in the but; no rubber, no lube. Although the Gulls bats showed some added pop, many of thier hits were long outs, and found the gloves of the NFL's very talented outfield. L. Barletta took the hill for NFL and notched yet another win in his young career. Evidence to the fact that a backup pitcher is needed to have success in the NSL. Barletta kept the Gulls lineup off balance with some quality off speed junk. D. Barile was still the ace of the Gulls staff, but looked nothing like an ace, letting up over thirty runs in a monumental blow-out. Barile has started the season 0-3 and a pitching change could be in the works. NFL used it speed and got timely hits all night long to secure the lopsided win.

Strong storms cancelled one of the more intriguing matchups of the early season on Friday, and the Brickyard vs. Barbarians game will be rescheduled.

Monday Galaxy made another step back to prominence, with a 13-8 win over The Sand Bar Pirates. R. Moleti captured his 3rd win of the season and the 150th of his hall-of-fame career. M. Obrien and the Sand Bar Pirates lose another game in which bad defense and costly errors, coupled with weak hitting spelled disaster in the end. The Sand Bar Pirates remain competitive and winless.

Tuesday's tilt featured GEA and the Knights. The Knights welcomed J. Ragusa to the team, their big free-agent signing, playing in his first game of the year. Ragusa went 0-3, but showed a glimpse of his gold glove in left field. The Knights built a 7-0 lead after 3 innings of play, backed by an especially strong outing by P. O'Leary who struck out three. GEA came storming back in the fourth and fifth and closed the gap to two at 11-9 with and inning to play. C. Pantano looked sharp, striking out three Knights batters. Pantano continues to try to rebuild his reputation stemming from an incident with an umpire in 2007. The Knights held on in the final frame to put GEA away for the win.

NFL 3-0

Galaxy 3-0

Knights 2-1

Brickyard 1-1

Barbarians 1-1

GEA 1-2

Sand Bar 0-3

Gulls 0-3