May Showers

Games resumed on Tuesday, with the red-hot Galaxy taking on GEA. It was Galaxy in a blowout, 14-6. No real stories in this one, just Galaxy taking advantage of a soft early schedule to go 2-0 on the season. GEA drops their first of the year and fall to 1-1.

Wednesday it was the Knights vs. the Sand Bar. Both teams are considered small market ball-clubs and have little in the way of budget for both equiptment or jerseys. The Knights have been outfitted with plain white tees with numbers on them, recieved as a donation from a women's soccer league. The Sand Bar used some money left over from V. Alkensayen Nipple modeling to purchase some new uniforms as well. All black tees with a pirate on the front. B. Bennet, the manager of the Sand Bar said "Yeah dude we're the fuckin' But Pirates" in his first interview. Some of the Sand Bar Players complained that the color of the shirts would make it difficult to play in the summer heat, when asked if this would be a problem, The Sand Bar's Second basemen V. Alkensayen replied, "Gotta show my body". Now thats fuckin creepy.

The Knights got off the shnide with their first win, a 19-10 drubbing of the lowly Sand Bar, who fall to 0-2. The Knights got off early, and built a 10-2 lead after three. P. Oleary was his dominant self on the hill, inducing the Sand Bar hitters into ground ball outs all night long. M. O'Brien was up to his usually antics for the Sand Bar, at one point putting the ball down his pants while pitching to a former roomate and lover.

The Sand Bar's defense was one step above inept, and balls that looked to be sure outs fell in for doubles and triples. The Knights looked surpisingly tight on defense, but lacked a big hit here and there which would have made it a monumental blow-out. M. O'Brien remains a reliable arm in the league and looked visibly frustrated during the loss. The Sand Bar made a valiant effort to come from behind in the last frame, scoring 5 runs, but ultimately collapsed and remain winless.

Galaxy 2-0

NFL 2-0

Barbarians 1-1

Brickyard 1-1

Knights 1-1

GEA 1-1

Gulls 0-2
Sand Bar 0-2

Practice Makes Perfect

Team NFL had one of the longest spring training seasons in the history of the league, and in the early going, NFL has looked sharp.

On Thursday, The Gulls took on the Defending Champions, The Brickyard. Both teams were coming off a loss and looked to climb back into the early playoff hunt with a win.

Once again it was D. Barile on the rubber for the Gulls, and J. Peterson took the mound for the Brickyard. Barile, not known for his control, was all over the plate. The Brickyard offense responed from a lackluster performance against NFL to pepper the Gulls with base hits. Virtually all of Brickyards runs came on singles, as the Brickyard, known for their power hitting, played some small ball to ignite their offense. The Gulls got some help from the return of G. Howard, who took the first offering he saw to Short Beach. However it was not enough, as the Brickyard built a commanding lead and held on for their first win.

In the Friday Night Lights Game, The NFL battled the Barbarians. Team NFL kept with their winning ways and dismantled the Barbarians for their second straight win.

NFL 2-0

GALAXY 1-0

GEA 1-0

BRICKYARD 1-1

BARBARIANS 1-1

KNIGHTS 0-1

SANDBAR 0-1

GULLS 0-2

Down but not Out

Many of the followers of the NSL and players alike have seen the Galaxy as a dying franchise, unable to build a reliable farm system, and unable to hold on to young talent. However, year after year, Galaxy proves to be a contender, proving that wisdom and expirience are just as important as youth and good looks.

The SportCenter Screaming Seagulls, in their second year in the league are looking for their first trip to the playoffs. A storied history which inlcudes a stint under the Knights of Colombus franchise. Known as hard partiers, the Gulls, as they are widely known, have put forth an effort to conduct a post game party at the Lynnway SportCenter, on Thursday, May 28th. The party is sponsored by MyPartA, a fledgling promotions company started by Gulls team owners.

On Tuesday night, the Gulls look to build on what was a promising 2008, taking on Galaxy. A back and forth game throughout, saw three lead changes and two ties. D. Barille made his debut on the mound after being sent to the bullpen in 2008. D. Barille proved his doubters wrong, and pitched a great game. Not to be outdone, R. Moleti notched the 300th K of his career. The game came down to the last out, and with one on, down by one, with two outs, one of the most feared hitters in the league stepped into the box. D. Barille, labored all day on the hill, making the most of his debut, but his last pitch of the game was one he will not soon forget.

A 2-2 changeup that found way to much of the plate, got sent deep into the night, and C. Howard won another big game in the bottom of the seventh with one snap of his wrists.

Galaxy 7 - Gulls 6.

Wednesday night saw a matchup of the final two teams to play their opening game. GEA vs. The Sand Bar. C. Pantano was matched up with M. O'Brien. O'Brien, after an off season that found him working a legit 9-5, 40-hour a week job, had not changed one bit, and his on the mound antics were as prevelant as ever. Wearing no shirt and a bandana from the recently buried Sable(C. Carpenter's German Sheppard , god bless her heart). He gyrated his hips and made comments about the appearance of each and every poor soul that stepped into the box. In one instance while pitching to M. Strout, a towering giant of a man who had been crushing the ball all night, he wiped the ball through his grundle area and said "Here comes a Ball-Ball", like I said, typical. Strout sent the ball-ball deep into right center for a triple.

After three innings, The Sand Bar had built a 9-1 lead. The GEA bats would finally come alive in the fourth, and they rattled off base hit after base hit to tie the score at 11 after five innings. In the bottom of the sixth, S. Viviano rumbled around third as the ball was being tossed in from deep right, Viviano and the ball met at the plate at the same moment, but the ball was jarred loose and The Sand Bar took a one-run lead. GEA would come to bat in the top of the seventh and score four runs to take a commanding 15-12 lead, The Sand Bar got a double from B. Senk, and as V. Arkensyan came to the plate cheers of MVP rang out from the crowd, good old Vladdy could not answer and The Sand Bar falls to 0-1 on the season.
GEA 15 - Sand Bar 12

Tonight - Friday Night Lights - Bitter Rivals - NFL vs. The Barbarians

Definitions: Grundle: The area between the scrotum and the anus.

Piss Poor Planning leads to Piss Poor Performance

The Sun is shining, the weather is fine, the NSL is where the old become young, when they cross the lines. I couldn't have been any more nerved up for my opening day game vs. the Barbarians on Monday night, I spent the morning in a manufacturing plant drilling holes in the ground to figure out how much of the waste stream of heavy metals and solvents had leaked into the surrounding soil. Fuckin' pissah. I burned off half of my olfactory nerves when I smelled one of the samples, my sense of smell is now non-existent.

So nerved up that I was praying that the rain that was coming down in Freetown, Ma, on the border of Rhode Island, was falling on the Island as well. Twas not the case, it was friggen' beautiful. I finished up around 1 pm, and decided I had done enough work for the day. My previous job was as a land surveyor in West Bridgewater, MA. So, I decided to take the exit I misserably took for two years and maybe stop in and see my former colleagues. I grabbed a turkey pita from the farm near my former office to eat on the way home. This just isn't any ordinary turkey pita, the turkey is carved out back and is stuffed into a pita with home-made stuffing, cranberry sauce and light mayo. I hopped back in my vehicle and proceeded to drive right by my former employer, even ducking a bit when I saw someone coming out of the front enterance. Social Anxiety, I think so.

A very low stress, low impact day, which should have left me with plenty of time to get prepared for the game. Unfortunetely I didn't do anything I planned on doing. As a matter of fact, I did everything I could to make it more difficult to prepare.

I came home and ducked under a blanket and watched the sox in 2, a great game in which Nick Green threw the Red Sox' hopes of winning into the right field grand stands, his 8th error of the year. I said to myself at that exact moment, man I hope I don't play like him, he just sucked his own dick. I fell asleep, woke up at 5:15pm and in a frenzy gathered my baseball shit and hoofed it towards my truck. No pregame stretching, no batting cage, no food, no drink, nothing.

Got to the field around 5:35 pm and remembered I had no lace in my right cleat, awesome. I was in an all out panic attack, scrambling to find a lace. I handed the reigns over to C. Turner to do the line-up and any pre-game rub downs. Grabbing the nearest bike, I peddled like E.T.'s homo buddy to scour my truck for a string or a lace. Front cab, nothing, rear cab, zip, bed, garbage. Alas, the sweatpants I wore down have a lace in the waist. As I arrived at my truck I noticed Serip had arrived at around the same time, and with what I think was Slow Ride blaring out of his speakers, he told me he needed the mellow music to keep his heart from beating from his chest, I looked at him,all geeked out, and gave him the hand gesture for nervousness, an open hand slap to the chest, mimicking a heart beating. No other words were exchanged.

I grabbed my sweatpants and attempted to remove the string from the waist. It didn't pull right through as I had expected, it was stitched all the way around. I ripped the thing with all the force I could possibly muster, nearly cutting the palm of my hand. I pulled so god damn hard that I ripped the actual pants to shreds, but the string would not break free. Adidas must have stitched this string in with fucking teflon.

When I got back to the field it was nearly game time, and I had no choice but to grab the white lace out of C.Turner's tennis shoe (these are legit tennis shoes, I don't use the term freely to describe sneakers), and lace up. No time to warm up my arms, legs, or liver, and it was time for the coin flip.

The first play I get is a lazer beam off the bat of E. Macrina. I Scoopy-Doopy-Doo, take the ball out of my glove, and proceed to throw it into the stands. Macrina scored the first run of the ball-game and The Barbarians never even saw us in their rear-view.

Fuck you Nick Green, suck your own dick.

Dick Measuring Contest

The season is underway, two games were completed, including an 11-4 upset of the defending champion and a 12-3 drubbing of a new ballclub.

In Friday Night Lights action, NFL squared off against the Two-Time Defending Champion Brickyard. NFL fresh off a long spring training which included a trip down to Fort Meyers, a stop in Mexico (for Perfomance Enhancing Drugs), and several would be baby mommas. NFL looked for redemtion in a rematch of last year's Final.

Brickyard has spent the off-season in true form, once again consuming enough alcohol for a small village, and leaving imprints in the couch cushions.

NFL came out on-fire, ripping J. Peterson for four runs in the first, and never looking back. For those of you who don't know, Bobby Brown plays center field for the NFL. After various charges including an arrest for beating his lovely wife Whitney and other drug and weapons related charges B. Brown has finally found a home in the NSL, where convicts, addicts, and delinquents are never shunned, but welcomed with open-arms. Yes, the cops give us guff, but if you ask me they should be thanking us for removing upwards of 30 crazies off the street and make sure they conduct all their lewd and lecivious behavior in one area.

Guys like Bobby Brown. In 1995, Brown was arrested after a brawl in a Disney World nightclub, in which a patron who allegedly made a pass at a woman in Brown's party had his ear at least partially torn off. (Charges were later dropped when Brown settled out of court.) Several months later, Brown was charged with battery in Los Angeles after allegedly kicking a hotel security guard who tried to halt a party in Brown's room (he was sentenced to two years' probation). The same year, Brown checked himself into the Betty Ford Clinic to battle drug and alcohol problems. However, in August 1996, he wrecked Houston's leased Porsche while speeding in Florida; reportedly, his blood-alcohol level was twice the legal limit. In the midst of all this chaos, Brown found time to hone the craft that he loves, slow pitch (unlimited arc) Softball.

NFL gathered behind their pitcher, J. Moleti, and played their scrappy brand of ball to notch a redemtion win over the Brickyard. For the NFL squad, Bobby Brown took J. Peterson deep for his first bomb of the year, and played great defense in center, considering he spent time at Betty Ford. C. Allesi also went yard for the NFL, who move to 1-0, and into first place. The Brickyard, slowed by a winter's worth of 30-packs, couldn't dust off their dicks in time, and fall to 0-1.

Monday marked the opening game for a new franchise, The Knights. The Knights welcomed the Barbarians to town and looked to get thier first win. A sloppy game, ended 12-4 with the Barbarians continuing their regular-season dominance over the NSL. B. Serino was back on the hill for the Barbarians and was lights out, carrying a no-hitter into the third frame. The defense never really showed up for the Knights, who couldn't come through for there Ace, P. O'Leary. The Barbarians offense was slow to get going, but fired on all cylinders towards the end of the game, with taters from M. Pressman, and C. MacCarriston, who's bomb left the stadium. The Barbarians remain udefeated in the regular season, and the Knights fall to a tie at 0-1 in the basement with the Brickyard.

Also of Note: The Knights team, with the "no-open container rule" in affect, actually gathered at their sponsor's venue. It was nearing the end of the night, and after countless games of pool, some of the Knights players hadn't quite had their fill of competion. The Latino Bambino and Danny O. argued fervolously about who had bigger cocks, South Americans or North Americans. With the Bartender at the Knights as the judge, the competion was on. U-U-U-USA, was chanted as the competition began. Both men came in at 4.2 inches, well under the human average and it looked like it could be deemed a tie. Upon further review, the bartender noticed the rare,and often found on South Americans, tip-of-the-dick pubic hair. The hair, considered by the judge to be part of the dick, propelled the Latino Bambino to victory.

Tonight: Galaxy vs. Gulls, 6pm

Team Sand Bar

There is a new team in the NSL, The Sand Bar. Bart, AKA Mouth, Bennet, will be managing his third ballclub in as many years. Bart's ultimate goal for his squad, don't become the second ever winless team in the history of the NSL. (The only team to go winless was the 2005 PoPo's team) The team will be comprised of many new faces and some old names from the 2008 Captains team. No longer will a grease covered, muscle pant wearin, sub making car salesman named George be gracing the field. He will however, be robbing us blind every time we buy a luke warm case of Bud. The best nipples in the Nipple Business is back to Captain the Sand Bar Team, a true original, VLAD.














Now for those of you who don't know, The Sand Bar is an actual business, a small sports bar with pool tables and dart boards. Sounds like a pretty nice place. Its off the fucking Lynnway, a three mile strip that not only looks like shit, it literally smells like someone shoved shit pellets in your nostrils while you drive down this pot-hole ridden joke of a highway. And speaking of nostrils, from the years of 2002-2005, Smuggler's Cove, located adjacent to the Lynnway, was the spot to score low grade cocaine.


Through a short on-line search I came upon some reviews of The Sand Bar which included:

Newest place to be in Lynn. Sand Bar knows how to throw a party! Best time ive had on the North Shore in years. Everyone friendly and a good atmosphere. only bad part was leaving at the end of the night. smaller inside, but big on the fun. Girls were coming in 5 at a time. what more could you ask for?
-Michael

First of all the newest place to be in Lynn, is Lynn Woods, in a cave, shivering in fear, while listening to the ring of gunshots. Like Smugs, it sucked to leave at the end of the night because you knew you were going to be up for the next two days. Finally, the only place where women come in 5 at a time is a Gynocologist.

THIS place was off the hook!!............tons of hot college chicks,great atmosphere,great drinks,my friends and i will def be back!seems to be the new "hot spot",ratio of girls to guys was excellent,(bathrooms were a little small tho),i give it a 10 out of 10
-Mike


What in god's green earth does this man mean when he says college chicks. Most likely he is refering to the 45 year old clan of buzzards that frequent the Sand Bar after their night class in Phonics at North Shore Community. The only "hot spot" is between the legs of the women who pop- a- squat between the outside wall of Dimes and the dumpster. Again, the only reason why a man would complain about the size of a bathroom is because their wasn't enough room to cram three people into a stall to divie up a dollar bill filled with La Coca.

Seems to be the newest hot spot in the area. Bartenders were smokin and pretty friendly. Pool table was expensive at $1.50 per game. Large Plasmas were awesome.
-Chris Brown


Again, hot spot gives you conotations of an anal rash of some sort which is how I feel about the Lynnway. I have been known to smoke a squalley or two, so the fact that the bartenders were smoking makes this place a little bit more appealing. Also, Chris Brown has fallen on some hard times since beating the piss out of Rihanna, maybe this place isn't so bad after all.














Definitions-
1. Buzzard: (noun) 45+ year old woman who frequents bars and clubs either alone or with other similar women or gay men. The buzzard is the step above a cougar. Cougars are known to prey upon young professional men, buzzards often play dead in order to be scrapped upon by passer-by's.

The Year to be Here

The offseason has been very un-eventful to say the least. There have been no field repairs, no off-season rule committee meetings, no trade/waiver rumors (yet), and no life.

Like a difribulator, the blog is back, and is set to breath new life into the crumbled remains of the shattered dynasty that is, The Nahant Men's Softball League.

The League has not made any major changes, and has not met any major milestones during the harsh winter of 2009. Most of the league spent the offseason repairing relationships that were left in disarray and punching themselves in the FUDA thinking about the economy, a black president, the threat of unemployment, and snow up to thier fucking ears. All eight teams have been signed on to compete for the coveted NSL Trophy in 2009. These teams include the two-time Defending Champion Brickyard, The Barbarians, Nahant Fish and Lobster (herinafter referred to as NFL), The Knights of Columbus (formerly Greensox), The Screaming Seagulls, Galaxy, George' Expert Auto (herinafter referred to as GEA), and The Sand Bar (formerly Captain's Seaside).

Just as the grass will grow, or not if Mike O'Brien planted it, the league will rise again.

The early favorite is the Brickyard, with the Barbarians also in the hunt for their first Title. The middle of the pack has drastically improved, with the final two spots of the final four likely to be competed for by The Knights, The Gulls, NFL, and GEA. Galaxy has made some decent off-season pick-ups and will look to rebound from a disastorous 2008, and The Sand Bar will likely spend the entire year in the basement.

The season begins Friday Night with a rematch of last year's Championship, NFL vs. Brickyard.
nfl +3 vs. Brickard.

Also of Note: The plus+3 in the above denotes the spread, Brickyard being favored by three runs, this is an expiriment and a line will be provided for each game.

And: Player and Roster news will be available towards the end of the week.

Definitions: FUDA: Fat Upper Dick Area.

2008 Playoffs in a Nutshell

In the opening round the two basement dwellers, Captain's Seaside and GEA squared off to battle in what was a lop-sided, sloppy game. GEA prevailed to move on to the second round.

In the second round, GEA continued its streak, defeating the once-mighty Galaxy. Questions began to rise about where this team was all year, but it looked as if things were starting to come together for the first year club.

GEA faced the former Knights of Columbus squad, newly minted as the Screaming Seagulls. It was GEA prevailing once again to move on to a showdown with arch rival NFL.

NFL was gearing up for a border-war with the Chris Pantano led GEA team. Bad blood originated between the two after Pantano was suspended indefinately by NFL following an off the field outburst in 2007. NFL one a barn-burner to move into the final four.

Brickyard opened the final four versus the Greensox. The Brickyard won a hard fought battle in gusty winds on Tuesday evening, coming out on top, 7-5. The wind was howling and in a friendly gesture to the Greensox players and Nahant, a member of the Brickyard wore only a G-string to the field, waving at fans and players as he stretched his hamstrings. (He wasn't waving with his hand).This stunt clearly took the Greensox players off their game, especially their second baseman who thought so long and hard about the texture of the man's ass that he dropped three routine outs.The Greensox came out swinging, and after holding the big Brickyard lineup to no runs in the top of the first had the first runner on after a leadoff double by Pat "Mary" O'Leary. Tito Taylor came up and launched a pea out to right field that sailed over the right fielders head. O'Leary, known for his large ass, looked as if had a pregnancy suit stuffed down his pants. Slowing up for O'Leary, and without the help of a third base coach, Taylor was picked off between home and third. The wind was officially out of the Greensox Sails.A horrible defensive inning allowed the Brickyard to rattle off 5 runs in the top of the second, and they never looked back. Jon Peterson was all over the strike zone and the Sox fell short of a comeback bid.The Brickyard leads the series 1-0.

Game two was possibly the most exciting game to date which saw two home-runs from Christos "Mufacki" Turner and 9 innings of play. Turner quickly went from hero to zero when he saw a one out, one on, up by one, line drive zip past his flailing body. Brickyard prevailed in extra innings and will move on to the Championship.


The Barbarians and NFL traded a game a piece and played a deciding game three. In game three, the young NFL team frustrated the pitching staff of the Barbarians and won, moving on the Championship series. The Barbarians, after going undefeated in the regular season ends up a runner-up in one of the biggest collapses in NSL history.

The Brickyard made short work of the young NFL club, to earn the sweep, the second time in as many years they have clained the Championship in this fashion.

Champion of 2008 - The Brickyard
Most Improved Team - GEA
Biggest Dissapoinment - Barbarians

Inside the Nahant Softball Stands

A strange thing happens when people are enthusiastic about a certain event. The Championship Series, and all of the playoffs for that matter, have been worth watching, and has been shown by the crowds that flock to the Lowlands Softball Field for the past two weeks. The fans gather in the right field box seats(the only seats) around 5:50 PM and set up thier chair of choice, some like a lawn chair, some like the tri-folds, others just a run-of-the-mill beach chair.

Teams that are in the league gather in groups to discuss how they should be in the finals and how depressing it is, not only to be not playing, but to be watching mens softball in general. In this town, in this year, this means something, a whole lot of something. Unknowns sit alone and try and find a small window of vision through the drunk section headed by the Green Sox and their ardent companions, NFL. Consuming incredible amounts of alcohol some fans in this section are beyond the legal limit by the third inning. Cow-bell ringing, mouth jawing, drunks, who seem like all they have come to do is will the Barbarians to lose.

The Brickyard will draw over three generations of fans, including their children, wives, mothers, and grandparents, who will undoubtedly be sitting in play at tonights game. The Barbarians fans are in attendance, but in disguise, being outnumbered and outwilled. The commisioner arrives at game time with a bundle of new balls that will likely become deposited with the other fossils of balls from years past. Charlie Sanphy, a senior official, arrives late, on an orange vespa scooter, and greets the fans with a tip of his cap and a spit of chew.

Players from years past often show up to check on the status of the league and explain to the faithful crowd how good they were, and their plans for a comeback. Future hall-of-famers like Tony "Scoopy" Lorenza slither through the fans looking to spark conversation and a ballot vote into the hall-of-fame. Unfortunetely for Tony, off the field problems could keep him out of the hall, regardless of whether he has the career hits record.

As the sun sets on the games, and fans scatter towards their cars, the blood that was lost during the games percolates deep into the Lowlands Field soil. As the season comes to an end the blood, sweat, and tears that were shed during the 2007 season will rest until the next year, and the next title.

Number 1 Rule in the NSL, No Crybabies

The Nahant Men's Softball League is a smorgasbord of people from all walks of life, although mostly Caucasian, middle class, everyone in the league has problems and they all have personal issues. Most of us went to the same elementary school, high school, college. Some of the players in the league have been competing with each other in competitive sports since we can remember. Some of us share the same office space. Some of us hate each other.

This league is an off-shoot of all of our illustrious sports careers that abruptly ended due to a freak injury, a baby momma, the discovery of pussy, old-age, or a drug problem. It is an outlet for middle-age men to take out their pent up aggression from their wives and girlfriends or bosses telling them what or what not to do.It is an excuse to once a week get out of the house and do something active so that the grim reaper doesn't catch up with our already flailing hearts. It's an excuse to get out and get totally inebriated with people who you normally wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

When you hit a home-run in this league everything still goes silent, your face goes numb, and you pee a little in the baseball pants that are a little to small because of the second helping of San Daniele del Friuli ham dinner you had the previous night. That tater you hit gives you something else to brag about, other than the amount of times you jerked off in one day, or your new hair style.

Shit-talking is and always be a part of this league long after all of your ashes are being smoked in my peace pipe. Whining will not be tolerated nor will a cry baby-attitude. We have gone over the rules in all of our locker rooms, do you have any questions? Are you ready to fight? Are you ready to fight? LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck everyone, and a big fuck you from Nahant Men's Softball League Offices.

Lynn, Lynn, City of the Shityard

August 21, 2008

The Brickyard won a hard fought battle in gusty winds on Tuesday evening, coming out on top, 7-5. The wind was howling and in a friendly gesture to the Greensox players and Nahant, a member of the Brickyard wore only a G-string to the field, waving at fans and players as he stretched his hamstrings. (He wasn't waving with his hand).
This stunt clearly took the Greensox players off their game, especially their second baseman who thought so long and hard about the texture of the man's ass that he dropped three routine outs.
The Greensox came out swinging, and after holding the big Brickyard lineup to no runs in the top of the first had the first runner .. a leadoff double by Pat "Mary" O'Leary. Tito Taylor came up and launched a pea out to right field that sailed over the right fielders head. O'Leary, known for his large ass, looked as if had a pregnancy suit stuffed down his pants. Slowing up for O'Leary, and without the help of a third base coach, Taylor was picked off between home and third.
The wind was officially out of the Greensox Sails.
A horrible defensive inning allowed the Brickyard to rattle off 5 runs in the top of the second, and they never looked back. Jon Peterson was all over the strike zone and the Sox fell short of a comeback bid.
The Brickyard leads the series 1-0.

Young Bucks

August 19, 2008

NFL 15 - The Barbarians 11

The youngest team in the NSL Playoffs notched a win in game one of the best-of-three playoff series against the regular season champions, The Barbarians. Riding the right arm of Jim "J-Mo" Moleti, which has been strengthened over the summer from lifting entire lines of lobster traps with one hand. NFL played great team defense and used superior base running to capture the win. The Barbarians were without their 13-game winning pitcher Bobby Serino, and instead had to settle with Paul Mignone who was pitching in his first playoff game. The cowbell was also in attendence and attracted fans from all over town, including players parents and friends, and some NFL groupies who painted NFL on their beautiful young midsections. The Barbarians jumped out to an early three to nothing lead but it wouldn't last. The young players from NFL showed resiliency in the end and secured the win with a 7-run top of the fifth.

Turkey Bombs

June 13, 2008

A Turkey Bomb is sliced turkey, grilled with peppers, onions, mushrooms, and cheese, melted to perfection, on a warm sub roll. Fucking delicious. The Nahant cops can not stop the latest Turkey Bomb craze on the Island. All the locals want to do, is eat Turkey Bombs, and watch softball. The police have been stalking the parking lot, looking for NSL players who have eaten too many Turkey Bombs and pulling them over.

Just last week, the Celtics gave the hoo-haa to the abnormally flaccid-cocked Lakers in game two, of the best of seven NBA Championship. On the same night, Matt "Mad-Hatta" Hatfield got pulled over by the NPD in suspicion of over consumption of Turkey Bombs. After a short field sobriety test Hattaberg was put into protective custody for the inability to stand on one foot, flap his wings like a seagull, and bark like a dog.

The OSHA limit for outside work is a 95 degree temperature with 70 percent humidity. We exceeded this standard on both Monday and Tuesday of this week. No one should have legally done work outside, those of you who did, God Bless.

This weather didn't stop Captain's pitcher Mike "Party Boy" O'Brien from putting in hours during the heat wave. O'Brien operated a one-man, self-propelled lawn mower, and used it to drag himself around Nahant, on a skateboard, dressed only in a Speedo.

O'Brien lost a tough one on Monday night, as the Green Sox slaughtered the Captains team, 20-9. The Sox stay put at 2-1, Captains falls to 0-4. Vlad "Pepperoni Nipples" Aleksyian quit the Captains squad after Monday's loss, citing bad team chemistry; his league fees have been refunded. His work as a male nipple model suffered from a couple of head-first slides into home at Lowlands Field.

Tuesday featured the NFL, riding a three game winning streak, and The Gulls. The Gulls put up some big numbers early, and built a sizable lead. The infuego NFL team came storming back, with a 16 run inning, 14 of the runs with two outs. NFL sees themselves a half game out of first at 4-1, as the Gulls look forward to a match-up with the resurgent Green Sox, in "Friday Night Lights".Wednesday pitted the archrival Barbarians against the Galaxy, in a who's who of Nahant Softball. A back-and-forth battle throughout, the game was not without its fair share of controversy. After a superb catch by the Galaxy center fielder was called a drop, three runs came across for the Barbrians, Galaxy, with the help of the home-town crowd, got payback with a safe-call on a close play at second.

A mêlée ensued, and the umpire was close to being Barbarian feed.The inning resulted in enough runs to knot the score at twelve, and into extra innings it went.The Barbarians preserved their unbeaten record with a run in the top half of the eighth and sound defense in the bottom.

Beat LA.

Friday Night Lights, tonight at 6pm features the Green Sox and The Gulls.

This Week in the NSL

May 29, 2008

"This Week in the NSL (Nahant Softball League)"

This week in Nahant Softball went as predicted, Monday, Memorial Day; everyone associated with the NSL was inebriated.

On Tuesday, the Green Sox Galaxy game got rained out by a super-cell cumulo-nimbus system that dropped an inch of rain in less than an hour. Green Sox players tailgated, as the women's league players, shoveled valuable clay from their already depleted, pond of an infield, hopeful to play their Opening-Day Game.

Galaxy remains 0-1, the Green Sox remain 1-0.

In the Wednesday night tilt, The Barbarians out-willed, out-hustled, and gave the business, to George's Expert Auto (GEA). A young Barbarian apprentice was given the duty of flag upkeep, after the win propelled the team formerly known as the "Italian Club" to a 2-0 record and sole position of first place. The young side-arm hurler from GEA had trouble with control early and never recovered. GEA falls to 1-1.

On Thursday Brickyard players filtered in from the parking lot at Game-Time, ready for a game against the resurgent Knights of Columbus squad, The Sports Center Screaming Seagulls. Both teams were coming off a tough loss, The Yard to NFL, and the Gulls to the Barbarians. Sunny skies, a light westerly wind, and a cooler-full of Coronas and (cut-up) limes. NSL fans came out in throngs to see the game. Corona's were being served at 13.95 for a twelve-ah, and guzzled at a feverous pace. Nahant's Finest positioned a cruiser on the crest of Short Beach to prevent fans from parking on Nahant Road.

Initially it was thought that the reason Dan O'Connor and Bart Bennet's former landlord (Gino Svelta) was surveying the field, was that the open-container law that many villages in the country follow, was going to be practiced on the island. This was not the case. (Tony "Scoopy" Lorenza, flaunting a new artificial-hip, slithered through the stands, talking about a possible come-back with the Seaside Team)

Brickyard, with a rejuvenated Sipeleti on the hill, cruised to a 19-3 win. game. A scoreless game through three, the Brickyard's offense exploded in the latter-innings, to even their record at 1-1. The Gulls fall to 1-2.Maybe now Sipeleti will get a Brickyard Jersey.

The 0-1 Captains squad faces off against the 1-1 NFL in "Friday Night Lights", at 6pm at Lowlands Field in Nahant.

How Bout This Weatha'

May 19, 2008


It is May 19, 2008 and its 45 degrees and blowing a consistent thirty, with gusts to forty-five, from the west. A steep pressure gradient to our west created high winds in the Nahant area.
Friday was also glorious. Sun blanketed the area for much of the day. A large storm system approached us from the west, expected to drop significant rainfall across the region overnight and into Saturday.

The Barbarians and the Brickyard kicked off the 2008 season with an emotion-filled 6-2, after three, canceled-due-to-inclement-weather ballgame, which will be rescheduled and re-played.
The Brickyard and Barbarians came out firing, with a tone-setting game. The opening-day tilt, included a first ever, team flag, brought by the Barbarians, in a territorial gesture to the locals.
The two powerhouses were tied two-two after one, then the rain starting coming down like a cow pissing on a flat-rock.

Ater a close play and a controversial call at the plate with bases loaded, the Barbarians scored four, before the game was called.

The weather is always great when softball season starts.
No, the weather is so bad that people watching the game need blankets and hot chocolate.

The seagull is the dominant bird on the island of Nahant. So much so, that the nickname of "Kingpin" has been give to the species' dominant male.

Seagulls can fly through a stiff wind, and proved it on Monday. The Gulls sprayed line drives over the depleted Galaxy defense, on their way to a 12-4 win. There was even a "Mitch" sighting, who came down, fresh from the garage, wondering why he didn't get the call up to the Bigs.

The League would like to thank the Barbarians for donating the new scoreboard, and Rick "Corvette" Madden for the new bleachers. (the bleachers could be referred to as a picnic table, but nobody is going to use it for a picnic). Also to the members of the Green Sox and Nahant Fish and Lobster who built make-shift dugouts and left-field fence, out of trash.

League News 4-24-2008

"League News 4-24-2008"

The first major milestone in five years has been accomplished by the Nahant Men's Softball League. The NSL has been granted a permit to build a new left field fence to our desired specifications (6' high x 150' long). The permit is contingent on the league providing the necessary finances to cover the price of the fence and its installation.

In the wake of this permitting, and the good weather that has graced us this past week, a plethora of activity at the field and in peoples minds regarding the NSL has followed. Practices and scrimmages have been held daily and already there have been two Barbarian and Screaming Seagull sightings, one was of a Barbarian feasting on the alpha male seagulls head (rapped in a pita with low-fat raspberry vinaigrette dressing), for leaking information to the press.

In all seriousness, this has been an exciting week, as members of all teams have that spring fever and desire to return to the diamond.The DPW has been contacted and have expressed their interest in helping out as grounds crew whenever possible. A load of clay was dropped off at the field and members of the league help resurface the entire infield, including the third base line, which was well below grade. Also, the dugouts were dug out to a 2-inch depth and a border of scrap wood was constructed around the perimeter for a future crushed stone/stone dust surface. The access dirt from the bench areas was used to fill various depressions in the outfield, including the crater behind the street-side dugout.

Surprisingly, the newest team to the NSL, Captains Seaside has held more full-squad practices than any other team. Led by Coach Bart Bennet who coined the phrase "my asshole was puckerin", the Captains team has fervor unmatched by most teams in the league. Their owner, and roast beef curtain extraordinaire, George Mastoras was also in attendance, greeting players from both sides. George is excited to finally be part of the league that has financed his best selling items, beer, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco.

The NSL has also financed personal items for Mr. Mastoras, including a Hummer, a jet ski, and a pet iguana.In related news, George Mastoras was asked for a contribution to the league. He offered $500, to finance bleachers with the Captains Seaside logo on them.The NSL is well on its way to becoming a premier league in the area. There is money allotted for bleachers and a left field fence, both of which have been approved by the town.

Bleachers
George from Captains $500.00
Total $500.00

Left Field Fence
Carlo and the Barbarians $500.00
League $200.00
Greensox $150.00
Mike Caira's Dad $100.00
Total $950.00

The most valuable player of spring training goes to Vlad "Pepperoni Nipples" Arkensyian. Not only has he vastly improved his skills in the field but is one of the most stand-up characters playing the game. During a spring training tilt between Captains and members of NFL and the Greensox, Vlad's nickname was shortened to just "nipples". Vlad was asked how he felt about the nickname and replied "bitch, these nipples are famous".

Various Spring Training Scores:Greensox 8 - NFL 4
Greensox/NFL 14 - Captains 12

The final Manager's meeting is scheduled for Wednesday May 6th, at 8pm at the Nahant Knights of Columbus.

2008 Free Agents

Apriol 15, 2008

2008 FREE AGENT LIST

1. Pitcher and part time murderer, Owen Kane

2. Pitcher/Outfielder, Marco Sippileti

3. 3rd Basemen and Rob Schneider from Deuce Bigalow Look-alike, Tony "Scoopy" Lorenza--New Artificial Hip!!!!!!

4. Short fielder and can collector, Nickel "Can-man" Richardson

5. Utility/manager of all things related to beer, Tom "TK Banshee" King Shotgun Record Holder!!!!!!!!!

6. Pitcher, Joel "Try to make me go to _______" Sanphy

7. Catcher, Joe "Cali" Caleggero

8. Cameraman, Touchy Tom

9. 1st baseman/wanderer Kevin Allard

10. Utility/All around good-guy, Jeff "Mitch" Mitchell

11. 3rd Baseman, Jimmy "son of Mrs. Mcsweeny" Mcsweeny

12. OF, Max "The friendly ghost" Kasper

13. OF, Mike Caira

Others may be available for injury reserves or for per-game contracts.On Thursday the mercury soared and temperatures were at a balmy 70 degrees. The birds were singing and the grass began to grow. Old Man Winter's grip on the small rock off of the coast of Lynn began to weaken, and all the regulars were ready for a daily round of batting practice and beer guzzling. NFL made their way down to the field for the 16th consecutive day showing that there is no fountain of youth, just youth. The Screamin' Seagulls made a brief appearance to get into game shape, and el rojo himself, Mr. David Barille, threatened to suspend activities by flooding the field with his own sweat.Old veterans complained of back soreness and stiff joints.

When you're with Team NFL, late twenties is "wicked old".

During all the festivities at the field, something was missing; there wasn't a fat upper dick area in sight, although Mike's Cousin Bobby and Joe Glowacki possess two of the few front asses on the planet.

Bad Press has led to bad blood, and there wasn't a Barbarian within an earshot of the field. The Barbarians gathered to commence their annual "Barbarian Feast" and devise a scheme to take over the league. The King Barbarian grunted as he sharpened his axe, it is rumored he left on a conquest this morning to find the Nazi absentee invisible e-mailer; he has not been seen in 24-hours.

The Green sox had a normal day, sitting in the sand at Short Beach, sipping Coronas with young women scantily clad in bikinis, smoking some fine marijuana. Captain Pat O'Leary and new left fielder Dan "Hollywood" Walsh were briefly interviewed. O'Leary proclaimed "Just another day at the office", as Walsh chimed in "I'm a hunter, I'm a pussy Puncher, I got to get that Pussy, cause I gots to."

Still no sign of Galaxy as they plan to use wisdom, and the power of Gandolph's staff, to win another championship.

George's Expert Auto may still have some roster spots open. All free agents who are interested call Chris Pantano at 603-986-6929 for more information.

Player News

4-10-2008

Galaxy
Greg "Brother of Dave" Racki had a career year in 2007 and his contract option for 2008 was picked up due to the loss of the more highly skilled Dave "Brother of Greg" Racki, who has relocated to San Francisco. He will now have the weight of an entire family on his shoulders. It is also rumored that Galaxy has picked up two free agents, Johnny White, and Marty "The Mule" Muser. Also, another O'Connor(just what the league needs) will be added as another lefty power hitter with Howard blood.

Greensox
With the losses of Bart Bennet, Joe Glowacki, and Mike "Party Boy" O'Brien, the Greensox were able to sign some young talent to fill their roster. Andres "The Spanish Masher" Uztegi who left the K of C due to a contract dispute was signed and should add some pop to the middle of the lineup. The disgruntled veteran Anthony "Lizard" Alessi, will try to leave his substance abuse issues in the past and play some outfield. Alessi came into camp at 6'1" and weighing 93 and one half pounds. Andrew Merengi, cousin of team owner Ian Croall was signed, and Ben Smith now the youngest of the sox will fill in the final void. With the departure of O'Brien the Sox must groom a new backup pitcher for the fragile veteran O'Leary, and current possibilities are Chris "Farley" Turner, and well, it doesn't look good if O'Leary goes down. The Greensox have held two team meetings (each ended with players disappearing for an entire weekend), and a brief throw-around with three members of the team.

Brickyard
There hasn't been a lot of news or transactions from the Brickyard camp as their shady owners try to cover up last year's HGH scandal. Rumors have Tony Ragusa retiring and handing the reigns over to last year's playoff MVP, pitcher John Peterson. Members of the team were seen picketing outside of the Brickyard with owner Rocky, when new laws made the establishment close one hour earlier.

Barbarians
The Barbarians got younger in the off-season and signed a notorious Nahanter, Chris Blydell. Jeff Blydell was known to make little leaguers field line drives gloveless, so Chris will no doubt add toughness to an already disgruntled group of Neanderthals. Tyler "ten-ants" Tenant was also brought up to the club and will help finance player incentives. The squad held a group practice on Wednesday and only their manager and his son showed up, showing FUDA's from an off-season's worth of Italian cooking.

The Screaming Seagulls
The Screaming Knights of Columbus have kept many of their players from last year's squad, except of course Joe Cali, who will be sorely missed by the league and fans alike. According to management the team wants to be more focused at winning ball games. Managers will limit playing time for lesser players, and hold mandatory batting cage practices. The first of these practices was held yesterday and the machine at Middleton struck out the side.

NFL
The Greensox Triple-A affiliate has finally made it to the big leagues, and has held over 20 practices this spring. Team NFL will bring back the same stingy roster, including lights out pitcher Jim "the other moleti" Moleti, and the fastest man on earth, Tim Collins. They will also be sporting new uniforms that look exactly like the Yankees, and we all know what they do.

Captain's Seaside
Seaside held their first practice as a team yesterday and is going to try and not be the second team in Nahant Softball history to finish the season winless. (The Popo's team of 2005 failed to win a game) The Seaside team is backed by a wealthy owner who can provide subs, beer, and Performance Enhancing Drugs, so they have a shot. Also Mike "Party Boy" O'Brien will pitch for the Seaside Submarines, and was dominant at times last year in relief. The rest of the roster has not been confirmed, but includes:
Bart "the fart" Bennet
Justin "Poodin" Bennet
Steve Viviano
Brian "Defa" Defelice
Bobby "boob" Unknown
Vlad "Pepperoni Nipples" Arkensyian
Joe Glowacki
Mike "Party Boy" O'Brien
"Poodin"'s buddy
Nick "Nikolai" Mattera

George's Expert Auto
Chris Pantano became the first player to ever be hit with a one-year suspension by the league. In the third game of 2007, the then first baseman for NFL, told umpire Chuck Sanphy, to suck a fart out of his ass, and that he was two-balled bitch. He will manage his own team, known only as a bunch of his buddies, including his shortstop, a "friend" from Salem, who played baseball in high school. Activities of GEA remain unknown.

Also of Note: FUDA: a Fat Upper Dick Area.

New News

April 2, 2008

A lot can happen in a few weeks, then again, a whole lot of nothing can happen. News has been hard to come by in the last few weeks as the annual lull in action between the first and last manager’s meeting.The Storied Knights of Columbus Franchise is the latest of the original teams to be compromised, and after hanging on for a few cellar-dwelling years, the Tides will no longer be fielding a team. Now the only two bars in the town of Nahant no longer sponsor groups in one of the biggest congregation of drunks in the state.There were subtle changes to the structure of the league, including adding an eighth team and a first in league history; a pinch running rule. Pinch runners will no longer be able to stay in the game, limiting the use of a slugger with a flat tire, or prosthetic limb. After all running isn’t that difficult, one leg after the other in sequence. Speed walking could also become a popular method to travel around the bases.

Many of you probably didn’t know this, but speed walking is an Olympic sport; the men compete in a 50 kilometer race.

Captain’s Seaside, owned by that muscle pant wearin’, grease flingin’ George "malaka" Mastoras, finally gets a team, as George tries to further monopolize the small town of just under 6,000, drunks, delinquents, drug-dealers, and successful entrepreneurs and businessmen.

Another grease flingin’, carburetor crankin’ Nahant resident named George, George Pantano, will sponsor the newest expansion team, George’s Expert Auto.

A letter has been submitted to the town for review of a new left field fence which will be funded mostly by a donation made by the Barbarians. Fund raising ideas and efforts also seem to be at a stand still. The approximate cost of the fence will be between $1200.00 and 1600.00, so the league has a ways to go, but they are on the right track. Rumors persist about a new scoreboard to replace the degraded original, which dates back to the seventies.

Tomorrow, Player news will be available.

Also of Note: Speed walking is defined in Rule 230.1 of the International Association of Athletic Federations (the I.A.A.F.), which states:Race Walking is a progression of steps so taken that the walker makes contact with the ground, so that no visible (to the human eye) loss of contact occurs. The advancing leg shall be straightened (i.e. not bent at the knee) from the moment of first contact with the ground until the vertical upright position.

New Rules, Same League

March 2008

"New Rules for The 2008 Season"


1. Pinch RunnersA. Each team is allowed to pinch run for whomever they want. However; the player being pinch run for can no longer play in the game, batting or fielding. The said runner may play catcher if their team has only nine (9) players available. The pinch runner is picked by the opposing team.

2. RostersA. Minimum = 15, Maximum =No maximum roster size.3. Games Played for playoff eligibilityA. Players who participate in six (6) regular season games are eligible to play in the playoffs.

4. Final RosterA. Final rosters are due by June 15th, 2008. This is roughly half way through the season. Also, if you sign another player, the new player is to pay the league fee.

5. Lineup cardA. A lineup card is to be given to the ump every game. This is to enforce the playoff eligibility rule. Lineup cards are available in lineup/scoring books or an index card would work as well.

6. Playoff Roster (Barbarian Rule) A. Minimum 13 players. If a team has greater than 13 players available for a playoff game, a minimum of 13 players must be in your lineup. This rule may not come into play, considering that teams are usually low on available players towards the end of the season due to injury, school, etc.

7. Uniforms (Cooney-Dan Walsh-Pressman Rule) A. Shirt must be worn for eligibility. This does not necessarily have to be the team uniform but a shirt of similar color. This is an effort to clean up the league.

8. Weekend GamesA. Weekends will not have scheduled games. However; games that are rained out will be re-scheduled on a weekend day.9. Number of TeamsA. Maximum teams-Eight

1. Brickyard
2. Barbarians
3. Galaxy
4. Green Sox
5. Nahant Fish and Lobster
6. The Sportcenter Screamin’ Seagulls
7. George’s Expert Auto
8. Captains Pizza (Still skeptical as to whether or not Captain’s and their fearless leader Vlad "pepperoni nipples" Arkensyian will be able to produce a legitimate 15-man roster, but the jury is still out, anybody interested should see Vlad and the convenience store on Nahant Road adjacent to the field. As of last night he only had 5-6 players)

Opening Day

February 22, 2008

The Defending Champions, The Brickyard will face off against last years runner-up, The Barbarians. The game is tentatively scheduled for May 12, 2008. This is probably the most coveted opening day game in recent history with bad blood stemming from an incident in game three of last years Nahant Series. The roudy fans will no doubt be in attendance after a long winter hiatus, cow-bell ringing, mouth jawing idiots, drinking like fish, for the love of the game.

Waiver Wire News/Rumors

February 2008

Andreas Uzetugi- 33 - 6'4" - 220, University of Venezuela, was signed to a long term deal by the Green Sox.

Tom Cronin - 19 - 5'8" - 155, North Shore Comm. College, was signed to a one-year incentive laiden deal by Nahant Fish and Lobster (NFL) which includes lobster rolls for each home-run he hits.

Chris Gingle - 24 - 6'4" - 205, Tufts University, was signed to a two-year seven Jaeger shot per game deal by the Knights of Columbus.

Gene Howard - 24 - 6'4" - 206.5, Boston Red Sox, was rumored to have signed an 8-game/playoff deal with Galaxy which is incentive based on performance and includes hookers.

Chris Blydell - 21 -5'9" - 180 - URI, was signed to a long term deal by The Barbarians, a former Nahanter, was brought in to add some depth and local blood.

Tyler Tenant - 21 -5' 10" - 185 - Bowdoin, was signed to a long term deal by the Barbarians, terms of the deal have not been disclosed but it is rumored to include lots of prescuito and salami.

Jeff January - 38 - 6'3" - 235 - Unknown, was signed to a one-year deal by the Barbarians. The deal includes a weight clause and incentives, including upper glute massages by the other rookie players.

Dan "Hollywood" Walsh - 28 - 190 - Swampscott High School - Walsh has cleared his physical and has been taken of the PUP list his contract is based on how many games he plays with a shirt on. Trying to complete his first injury free season since 2004.

Off-Season News

January 11, 2008

With roughly only 4 months till the start of the 2008 season the blog will be up an running with more frequency. Although all off-season news has not been released to the press, the following are some general statements and happenings around the league.

League News:
Rick Moleti will still man the post as Commissioner. He has not commented on whether or not he will ban performance enhancing drugs or require any testing in 2008 on the wake of the Clemen's scandal. Wigs have been officially outlawed from league play. The left field fence has been destroyed by a series of snow storms and a team will be constructed to create a fundraiser and ultimately build a new fence. No news on a scoreboard but league officials are planning on building a new one or negotiating a deal with Budwieser. Rules Commitee meetings have come to a stand still but will resume in Febuary and March up to the free agent and waiver deadline.

BRICKYARD
14-2---Champions--------------The Brickyard brought their over-sized, street-grade, push-broom to the playoffs in 2007 sweeping both of the teams they faced. The off-season for the defending champs has been one of relaxation, knowing that their core nucleus, one that let up the fewest runs in 2007, will be back. Beer drinking and diaper changing have been prevalent in their off-season training. The big question marks are Ragusa Sr.'s recovery from Tommy-John Surgery and the return of Pete "For Pete's Sake" Feely.

BARBARIANS
11-6-----------------The Barbarians were the runner-up in 2007, getting swept by the "Yard" in three. The team is looking for a pitcher in the off-season to compliment Bobby "Serip" Serino on the hill, who has an aging arm. Matt "Meet-The-Press" Pressman looks to build on his break-out year. No new signings of note. The Barbarians come in to 2008 with high hopes and some quickly improving young talent coupled with some scrappy veterans. The Barbarians have fashioned a bat from scratch that resembles a club for both pummelling their wives and girlfriends and to warm up with.

GALAXY
11-6-----------------The Galaxy team faded down the stretch run, much different from 2006 where they ran the table right to the championship. An aging team of veterans look to come back strong in 2008 after some on and off field problems caused some players on the squad to lose focus. Galaxy has used the Howard's sperm, water from the Nahant sewage treatment plant, two hairs from Rick Moleti's mustache, and a bead of the "Can Man's" sweat to spawn a super softballer to bat lead-off.

GREENSOX
10-8-----------------The Kelly Green Sox, contrary to recent rumors, will be back in action in 2008. Their starting pitcher Pat "Mary" O'Leary got off-season shoulder surgery and is still recovering. This squad had a strong overall showing in 2007 amid chaos in the locker room stemming from Drug use that players deny, saying it was B-12 and Lidocaine. The Greensox completed the only major signing of note thus-far in the off-season. The Sox have signed the highly sought after free-agent Andreas Uzeatugi to a long term deal that includes a proffesional massuese (Bart Bennet). The oft-injured Danny "HOLLYWOOD" Walsh will be back on the roster, and it is rumored he got a huge green sock tattooed on his back.

NFL
9-9-----------------Rumors have begun of an overhaul with this young, up-and-coming squad starting with the signing of one of the Kane brothers of Swampscott to a one-year, thirty pack-per game deal. The young Moleti will be back on the hill looking for his first winning season. Youth is still on NFL's side in this league and the team is holding mandatory workouts at Gold's Gym followed by drinking beer in the woods. The team has also dug an underground tunnel with a tube connected to the Barletta's wine barrels so they can drink it from the parking lot.

KNIGHTS OF COLOMBUS
5-13-----------------The Knights of Columbus are at a cross-roads, and a management change could be in the works. Unhappy with the team's current direction, pitcher Mike Kelleher has taken over as manager for this disgruntled team. A quality team who performed below expectations in 2007, looks to add some fresh faces to their potent line-up and continue to compete in 2008. The Knight's socio-pathic pitcher Mike Kelleher has grown his hair out and dyed it black in retaliation to the "no-wig" rule. Mike "The Lumber Jack" Morrison and Joe Callegero have petitioned the league for rule changes. The first involving using a tree for a bat and the other to allow bunting and bringing strippers to games to distract the opposing teams.

TIDES
1-16-----------------The Tides are looking for a team manager, GM, and players as nobody has heard from their former estranged coach, Tommy King. A band of misfits in 2007, most of these players hoped to play good enough to earn a long term contract on another team. One thing is certain; Vlad "Pepperoni Nipples" Aleksanyan will be back after winning the sportsmanship award in 2007. Anthony Alessi has been living in the locker at the field and growing dreadlocks, waiting to be signed by a new team.

SWEEP

August 30, 2007

Brickyard 19 - Barbarians 17


On a beautiful night at the end of the summer, the Brickyard took home their franchise's first Nahant Championship Series title, completing a sweep of the Barbarians. The Brickyard made it five straight in the playoffs, sweeping both of the clubs they faced. The Barbarians gave a great effort and were in every game, but the Brickyard proved to be to strong down the stretch. The Barbarians threw their third pitcher in as many games, Dave Johnson. Johnson normally has precision control, but the Brickyard hitters worked the count the entire game and hit the ball hard all-night. John Peterson was on the hill again for the Brickyard and narrowly escaped a late surge by the Barbarians to get the win. The Barbarians would jump to an early lead in the first when Matt "Meet-The-Press" Pressman hit a towering blast, deep to left, just as fans were ushering into the stadium. The Brickyard would come storming back courtesy of an Adolph "A-Train" Gracile home-run that found the gap in right center and rolled to the infamous parking lot. The lead would change throughout the night and was tied three times during the course of the game. Greg "The Big Fella" Crosby hit the furthest home-run in the history of the league (which started in 1976) over the tree in deep center. This area of bullrush may be painted red to start the 08' season. With two runners on, Kiley Barret hit a screamer out to center. Charging hard to make a throw to the plate Matt Pressman let the ball under his glove and roll to the wall, Barret would come all the way around to score. The Barbarians would keep coming back and their MVP, Matt Pressman hit another pair of homeruns to keep pace with the playoff home-run record. The game was broken wide open in the sixth, when the Brickyard loaded the bases with two out. Dave Johnson was looking at a two run game, staring at one of the most feared hitters in the game, Greg Crosby. Crosby took Johnson's second offering, a fastball down the middle, into the August sky for a grand slam. The Brickyard wasn't done, one of their unsung heroes, Darren Malloy came to the plate with a runner on and two out in the inning. A tailing line drive to the right center gap gave him his first career home-run, and it would prove to be the difference in the game. Jack "Yack" Peterson finally would end the inning, his second at-bat, to make all three outs. (double -play, ground-out) The Barbarians weren't going to roll over and got within two runs on some great hitting and a tater by Carlo "Capa" Capinigro, but came up just short in the end.

Truly an amazing series, playoffs, and season. Congatulations to The Brickyard on their championship, and congratulations to all the teams who participated in this glorious league. The cookout is scheduled for September 22, at 3pm. Brickyard will recieve their trophy and drink beer out of it, I'm sure. Me, I'll just have to drink out of my cowbell until next year.

Can't Get to The Hall Without the Rings

August 29, 2007

Brickyard 15 - Barbarians 11

The Brickyard is now within one win of their first Nahant Softball Title. Riding a wave of emotion produced by fans and players alike, the Brickyard got on top early and stayed there, beating the Barbarians in an incredible game. Game two was a pleasure to watch, and players from both sides put on a great game. Although winning game two gives the Brickyard a decided advantage in winning the title, neither game was lopsided by any means and were not won on one great play. Defense wins championships and Brickyard thus far has played well enough on the defensive side of the ball to carry them to a two game lead. The Brickyard jumped out on top early, building a seven to nothing lead, courtesy of a gapper-home-run by Shannon Barrett, a line-drive by Jim Motzkin that soared over the fence, and an inside the parker by John "Little Goose" Ragusa. Neither team was done scoring runs, and this game really turned into a slugfest down the stretch. Eric "All-World" Macrina tightened up the game with a blast that soared 400 feet in the air before coming to rest in the bull-rushes, his first of two on the night. Tony Nacosia pitched in with a blast into the street to score two more. The Barbarians buckled down on defense and kept them in it while their bats warmed up. Carlo "Capa" Capanigro was on the hill for the Barbarians. The veteran had trouble with control early and the Brickyard bats made it count. Johnny Peterson had another great outing, notching another playoff win and a big strikeout of Joey Capanigro to get himself an out a jam in the fifth. The Barbarians started to mash and had a big inning towards the end of the game with a big home run from Carlo Capanigro, where two Brickyard players soared through the fence in left, and a deep bomb by Dave Johnson, who motored around to score. Tony Nacosia, after going three for three and flashing a gold glove at short came up limping after pulling a hamstring diving back into second. This would prove costly, as his pinch runner, Ilan Amar would be doubled off the next play, and later, Nicosia would bounce into a 5-4-3 double play. He was replaced by Jim Tracy who got it done with a pair of triples on the day. The game was put out of reach in the top of the seventh with a leadoff double by Jesse Maggs, who was driven in by Jack "Yack" Peterson. The bottom of Brickyard's order continues to get on base and produce, giving them good odds to win game three and the series.

Also of Note:
Game three is tonight, August 29, 2007 and could be the final game of the season. Forecast for game time is 78 F, with a nice light wind out of the South (blowing in from left field)

MOJO

August 28, 2007


Brickyard 7 - Barbarians 4

The Brickyard had that trademark mojo working on Monday night and took the all important game one of the Nahant Championship Series. The Barbarians, with the lower seed, came up to bat in the top of the first and scored two runs to build a quick lead. The Brickyard would quickly close that gap in the second, with a couple runs of their own. On the hill for the Brickyard was John Peterson, who got his first playoff start of 07'. He featured a couple of pitches, a high fastball mixed with a splitter that fell off the table, that got him out of a couple of jams. Peterson also kept his walks down. Bobby "Serip" Serino was hurling for the Barbarians and struggled finding the zone. The Barbarians did get a good amount of hits off the big righty but couldn't get the clutch hit to drive in the runs. In the fourth with one out, on what looked to be a sure double play, was booted by Peterson and the bases were chucked. The Barbarians would only muster a run out of the inning. The Brickyard was helped along by some stifling infield defense that got them out of a couple of would-be big innings for the Barbarians. Darren Malloy let one go through his wickets, only to come back and make an inning saving-backhand dive and throw. The story of the playoffs continues to be good defense and timely hitting. Both squads played good overall team defense but the Brickyard got hits when they needed them to drive in runs. Elan Amar made a diving stab, charging in, on what looked to be a two-out, two RBI, bloop hit, to save a couple runs. Not to be outdone, Adolph "A-Train" Gracile made a Willy Mays, over-the-shoulder, running catch on an Amar RBI bid in the bottom of the inning. The Barbarians had a shot in the top of the seventh and got a quick run with no outs to pull within three. With runners on first and third a line-shot was hit out into left field, bouncing on the line, just fair. Eddie "Hardo" Mihovan chugged around second and headed for third, Shannon Barret through a laser to Kiley Barret at third who slapped the tag on him for the final out. Mihovan, a future hall-of-famer, continues to try and spark this young Barbarian team and win his fifth straight championship, in the third, he scored from second on a softly hit single with a great hook slide to the plate. The Brickyard and Barbarians will do work again tonight in a game two battle. The Barbarians will look to even up the series at home, and the "Yard" will try and bring themselves within a win of their first ever Nahant Series Championship.

Also of Note: A modest crowd showed up for game one of the finals, approx. 40 people. The forecast for game two, Tuesday 8/28/2007 is Sunny, 75 F with a light east (right to left) wind.

Down Right Barbaric

August 30, 2007

Barbarians 8 - Galaxy 3

The Barbarians, with their new playoff roster, have made it to the final to face off against the Brickyard in a one versus two, battle for the crown. The Barbarians went with Carlo "Capa" Capanigro on the hill after a dissapointing outing in game two. He came back with a vengence, and held down the Galaxy lineup with some help from some solid defense. To Galaxy's credit they did put runners on, but the Barbarians stifled the big hit to get out of every inning. The Barbarians jumped out to an early two-to-nothing lead, stringing together some base hits, playing a small ball game. They got a big run out of speedster Joey Capanigro who dashed all the way around from first on a single. Galaxy really couldn't get anything together offensively, as Capanigro kept the hitters off-balance with a good change-up. The game remained relatively close through the first four innings, but was broken wide open by a four run inning. Matt "Meet-The-Press" Pressman continues an MVP playoff push with a three-run home-run to help push the Barbarians into the final. Galaxy, down 8-1 in the top of the seventh had the heart of their lineup due up. Kevin Howard started things off with a single, followed by a Christian Howard blast out over Nahant Road to bring Galaxy within five with nobody out. Capanigro settled down and got the next three, ending the game, and a Galaxy shot at a repeat, by striking out Greg "Brother of Dave" Racki, looking.

Also of Note: Umpires checked the brim on Capinigro's ballcap for a foreign substance in the second inning. No substance was found and Capanigro was able to pitch a complete game playoff win, the first of his career.

And: The finals, The Barbarians vs. The Brickyard, begins Monday, August 27, 2007 at 6pm sharp. This one should be a doozy,as team Lynn faces off against team Swampscott.

One in, One to Go

The defending champion, Galaxy, will take on The Barbarians for the rights to play in the Nahant Series best of five, championship showdown. The record for largest crowd has been broken twice this year, first 70, then on Tuesday a whopping 72 fans showed up to join in the festivities. Its only a matter of time before there is a national anthem before games, sausage carts, vendors, electronic scoreboards, bleachers, left field wall, stay tuned. Nahant passed the Community Preservation Act, which residents vote on. It is an increase in taxes. This money is to rehab ball fields, parking lots, parks, etc. The state will match the money that will hopefully be put up by the CPA. An off-season goal is to have at least bleachers in for opening day 2008, and a work crew is being assembled to construct a new left field wall, and track. Good Luck to the Brickyard who will make their first trip to the finals in franchise history, and best of luck to Galaxy and the Barbarians the rest of the way.

Also of Note: Free Agent lists, waiver claims, trades, signings, team information, and general league news will be offered during the off-season.

Buzzsaw

August 23, 2007

Brickyard 2 - Greensox 1

Another pitchers duel and defensive battle, the Brickyard completed the sweep of the Green Sox, 2-1. Again, both teams came out flat at the plate and couldn't score any runs in the first three innings. The defense on both sides was stellar, and the pitchers were dominant. Tony "Goose" Ragusa worked very quick on the mound and kept the Green Sox batters off balance all night long. He also made upwards of eight outs himself on various grounders and line-drives hit right back at him. Pat O'Leary, the ace of the Green Sox staff, got the start and didn't look like he lost any velocity on his four-seamer after a honeymoon in St. Lucia. The Green Sox did what they needed to do defensively to win a ball game, but the bats didn't pull through. The dead heat was busted open in the fourth inning, and for the second straight game, Brickyard put up three, and put the Sox in the rear-view-mirror. The fourth started with a John "Little Goose" Ragusa double to center. Shannon Barrett grounded back to O'Leary, who looked Ragusa back, and got the out. Greg "The Big Fella" Crosby then hit a ball to the moon, just foul, then walked. Kiley Barrett then opened the door to the championship with a big double. Barrett slid just wide of a Dan O'Connor sweep tag by doing a head spin, into a leg-cross stall breakdance move. The Green Sox tried to make a comeback to avoid the sweep, and did score a run, courtesy of a Colin Carpenter RBI single in the fifth, but Carpenter was gunned down trying to swipe second base for the third out. Tony Ragusa mopped up the rest of the Greensox at the plate, finishing the series with a 1.50 ERA, earning him the nickname "Buzzsaw".


Also of Note:
The phrase "Win or Lose We Drink the Booze", coined during the Tides 2003-2006 run at a championship was brought back in a major way by the Kelly Green Sox. All players tied one on last night and surely woke up with a stinging hangover. Mike "Party-Boy" O'Brien financed the after-party. He purchased four cases of beer, two pizzas, and two calzones. O'Brien also took his truck straight across the field to get the pizza and beer, moments before cops rolled down Nahant Road. Around 10:45 cops showed up via motorcycle and cruiser to assess the situation. Apparently they could hear the cowbell from the station. Upon arriving at the scene the young officer on the motorcycle asked us if we saw a couple of youths wiggle an MBTA sign out of the ground and drag it across the street. What? He then said he was down to check the parking lot disturbance and had inclings that we may have been minors. Matt "Mr. Consistency" Hatfield, who completed an errorless season, claimed, "Sorry pal, but unfortunetely we're all old". The cops laughed and left the Green Sox to guzzle the rest of their beers and drive home.

Good Ol' Fashioned Ballgame

August 22, 2007

Brickyard 3 - Kelly Green Sox 2

In a good old fashioned battle on the diamond the Brickyard took game one of this semi-final series by a run. The game was a pitchers duel through the first three innings, with both squads playing brilliant defense. Tony Ragusa was back on the mound for the Brickyard and got out of a few jams, holding the Green Sox to only two runs on the game. This game was scoreless through three until the Sox broke through with a run in the top of the fourth. With Dan O'Connor at first Mark McGrath came to the plate and ripped a single out into right center. As O'Connor rounded second he was on his horse. Phil Lessor saw a low throw come into the infield and sent O'Connor churning around third. The throw was there but O'Connor dove head first through the legs of the catcher. In the bottom of the fourth the Brickyard would answer right back, with three runs to win the frame. With two outs, a base running blunder looked to have cost Brickyard any runs in the inning, but with three base knocks in a row, the Brickyard put up three and led the rest of the way. Ragusa and the Brickyard got out of a couple jams, including runners on first and third with two out in the top of the seventh, to secure a monumental game 1 win.


Also of Note: Christos Turner of the Greensox, who had a big RBI for the Sox, yelled "I got it!" coming around second on a pop fly to Daren Malloy at shortstop. This was Turner's first of two bush league plays on the day, who was heckled with A-Rod chants after the play.
And: This game has set a single game attendance

Galaxy Avoids the Broom

August 22, 2007


Galaxy 10 - Barbarians 5

The Galaxy avoided a semi-finals sweep last night with a 10-5 victory over the Barbarians. Rick Moleti took the hill for the Galaxy, notching his first 2007 postseason win, a much-needed confidence booster for the veteran righty. Bob Serino, who was on a team financed vacation in Jamaica, was late due to a delayed flight from after-effects of hurricane Dean. Carlo Capinigro got the start and had trouble getting outs facing a very potent Galaxy lineup. Galaxy got on top early, and led throughout the game. Down only one run, the wind was taken out of the Barbarians sails when a low throw was scooped by Chris Howard at first. He appeared to come off the bag early but the out was called, ending the inning. Umpire Charles Sanphy took some heat from the Barbarians but stood by his call. The Barbarians got a great game from Tony Nicosia who scored a couple big runs and flashed a gold glove at short. They just couldn't string together a big inning. Matt "Meet the Press" Pressman continues to build on his league leading slugging percentage with a shot to the deepest part of the park, a ground rule double. Both teams left-fielders looked puzzled at times and saw the majority of the action on the day. The Galaxy would bust things open in the sixth, with big hits from Kevin and Justin Howard, and a tater from Greg "Brother of Dave" Racki. This series will now go to a game three to decide who goes to the Championship Series.

Also of Note: Fans brought a cow bell to the game on Tuesday and were blatantly in favor of Galaxy. The Barbarians were visibly shaken by the rattling instrument in right field, but as the saying goes, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Barbarians Role

August 20, 2007

Barbarians 12 - Galaxy 4

The Barbarians cruised to a 12-4 victory on Friday night, in the first game of a three game set with the defending champion Galaxy. Galaxy looked a little rusty and could'nt put it together offensively or defensively. The Barbarians took the all-important game one of the semi-final series and will be looking for a sweep on tuesday night.
Also of Note: The Barbarians right fielder, Jim Tracy robbed three home-runs, securing a big win for the Barbarians in the franchise's first Semi-Final appearance.
And: In other action, the Brickyard and the Green Sox kick off their series tonight at 6pm.

The Phil Factor

August 17, 2007


KG Sox 7 - Knights 6

In the game that decided the fourth team in the Nahant Softball "Final Four", the Knights and The Green Sox put on a show for all spectators in attendance. In the end it was the Greensox who came out on top by the narrowest of margins, 7-6. The Greensox, in the team's first playoff game had to throw their number two starter, Mike "Party-Boy" O'Brien. O'Brien, pitched extremely well, getting the first win of his career, and the biggest win thus far in Green Sox franchise history. Mike Kelleher got his third start of the playoffs and pitched a great game, inducing alot of fly ball outs. The Knights got on top early, with help from a bloop single with two outs that fell just in front of a charging Jay Cronin, scoring two to give the Knights a 2-0 lead. In the bottom of the frame Zach Taylor hit a two-run shot to tie the game at two. The two teams would exchange leads a couple times during the course of the game, with no team leading by more than two runs. The Greensox' Mike O'Brien looked dominant on the hill, getting two strikouts, including Andrew Wadden swinging with two on to get out of a jam. A tie game through six-and-a-half innings the Greensox had the heart of there order due up in the bottom of the sixth. The sox would put up a two spot in the frame and looked to close out the game and roll into the playoffs. The Knights were'nt done and as has been said all year showed their trademark resiliency and almost fought there way to another come from behind victory. Kevin Kelleher led off the inning and sent a hard grounder to Colin Carpenter. Carpenter knocked the ball down and threw a fastball in the dirt to first. Justin Fucile made possibly the best play of his life, a full split, one-hop scoop to get the first out. This out was huge because Ryan Burke came to the plate next and hit a bomb to the gap in right-center for a solo home-run. Up one run, the Sox put the next two batters away, winning the game and making it to the "Final Four".

Also of Note: The Green Sox hired a new third base/bench coach, Mr. Phil Lessor, who did a great job in his first game.

And: The media will not be present at tonight's Galaxy vs. Barbarians matchup. The chief editor is trying to salvage his relationship after spending four consecutive nights at the Softball Field. However, scores will be posted and a brief synopsis will be available this weekend.

This is the Story of a Hurricane

August 17, 2007


The ace of the Green Sox staff, Pat O'Leary got married this past Saturday, August 11, 2007. Our Congratulations go out to him and his wife, Jen O'Leary. The beautiful couple decided that St. Lucia would be a fantastic spot to spend their first week as husband and wife together..............Last night, Hurricane Dean, a category two hurricane, with sustained winds of over 100 mph, hit the small island dead on.
This exerpt is from the Associated press this morning........................
Dean, the first hurricane of what is expected to be an above-average Atlantic season, lifted the roof off the pediatric wing at Victoria Hospital in St. Lucia's capital, Castries, but patients had already been moved, officials said.

Heraldine Rock, an ex-government minister in the former British colony of 170,000 people, said the storm ripped roofs off houses and damaged at least two banana plantations.
"In one village, telephone and power lines are down, they're strewn all over the road, trees are uprooted and are blocking the roads," she said. "In another village, a landslide has been reported, cutting off any access to the airport."

Deputy Prime Minister Leonard Montoute said at least two people were injured when a tree fell on their house.

"I'm told that the coastal areas have taken a severe battering, there's debris all over Castries in the capital and flood waters on the roads," he said.
On neighboring Martinique, an elderly man died of a heart attack during the storm and six people were injured, according to France's state office for overseas territories. Electricity company EDF said 95 percent of homes were without power.

It may be awhile till the Greensox get their ace back.

Rally

August 15, 2007

Knights 14 - NFL 10

On a Wednesday night, second round playoff tilt, the Knights and NFL put on a show for the ages. In an epic game that included four lead changes the Knights came out on top 14-10. Mike "Sid" Kelleher got another start for the Knights and notched the second playoff win of his short career. Jim Moleti took the hill for NFL and looked very sharp in the early goings of the game. A 3-2 game through three innings the Knights were clinging to a small lead. The flood gates opened in the fourth, and NFL put up eight runs in the frame, making the score 10-3. Jim "Sticks" Osborne, Clint Alessi, and Bobby Brown all hit homeruns in the inning to take a hefty lead. The Knights weren't done yet, and managed to score three more runs leading up to the seventh inning. With the score 10-6, Joe "Caldad" Callegero came to the plate with one out. Callegero worked a walk, possibly the biggest walk of his, or anyone's career. The walk ignited the flame that was flickering on the Knights bench and quickly grew into an inferno, as each of the next ten Knight's batters got base hits, quickly eating away the lead that NFL worked so hard to build. Callegero was the first Knight Moleti walked all game and it definetely rattled the youngster. His arc decreased and the velocity on his split-seamer wasn't there like it had been all game long.

The Knights went on to score eight runs of there own in the top of the seventh, giving them the lead, 14-10. In the bottom NFL got two runners on with only one out but couldn't muster a rally. The Knights would eventually close out the inning leaving the runners stranded to complete the monumental comeback.