2008 Free Agents

Apriol 15, 2008

2008 FREE AGENT LIST

1. Pitcher and part time murderer, Owen Kane

2. Pitcher/Outfielder, Marco Sippileti

3. 3rd Basemen and Rob Schneider from Deuce Bigalow Look-alike, Tony "Scoopy" Lorenza--New Artificial Hip!!!!!!

4. Short fielder and can collector, Nickel "Can-man" Richardson

5. Utility/manager of all things related to beer, Tom "TK Banshee" King Shotgun Record Holder!!!!!!!!!

6. Pitcher, Joel "Try to make me go to _______" Sanphy

7. Catcher, Joe "Cali" Caleggero

8. Cameraman, Touchy Tom

9. 1st baseman/wanderer Kevin Allard

10. Utility/All around good-guy, Jeff "Mitch" Mitchell

11. 3rd Baseman, Jimmy "son of Mrs. Mcsweeny" Mcsweeny

12. OF, Max "The friendly ghost" Kasper

13. OF, Mike Caira

Others may be available for injury reserves or for per-game contracts.On Thursday the mercury soared and temperatures were at a balmy 70 degrees. The birds were singing and the grass began to grow. Old Man Winter's grip on the small rock off of the coast of Lynn began to weaken, and all the regulars were ready for a daily round of batting practice and beer guzzling. NFL made their way down to the field for the 16th consecutive day showing that there is no fountain of youth, just youth. The Screamin' Seagulls made a brief appearance to get into game shape, and el rojo himself, Mr. David Barille, threatened to suspend activities by flooding the field with his own sweat.Old veterans complained of back soreness and stiff joints.

When you're with Team NFL, late twenties is "wicked old".

During all the festivities at the field, something was missing; there wasn't a fat upper dick area in sight, although Mike's Cousin Bobby and Joe Glowacki possess two of the few front asses on the planet.

Bad Press has led to bad blood, and there wasn't a Barbarian within an earshot of the field. The Barbarians gathered to commence their annual "Barbarian Feast" and devise a scheme to take over the league. The King Barbarian grunted as he sharpened his axe, it is rumored he left on a conquest this morning to find the Nazi absentee invisible e-mailer; he has not been seen in 24-hours.

The Green sox had a normal day, sitting in the sand at Short Beach, sipping Coronas with young women scantily clad in bikinis, smoking some fine marijuana. Captain Pat O'Leary and new left fielder Dan "Hollywood" Walsh were briefly interviewed. O'Leary proclaimed "Just another day at the office", as Walsh chimed in "I'm a hunter, I'm a pussy Puncher, I got to get that Pussy, cause I gots to."

Still no sign of Galaxy as they plan to use wisdom, and the power of Gandolph's staff, to win another championship.

George's Expert Auto may still have some roster spots open. All free agents who are interested call Chris Pantano at 603-986-6929 for more information.