Turkey Bombs

June 13, 2008

A Turkey Bomb is sliced turkey, grilled with peppers, onions, mushrooms, and cheese, melted to perfection, on a warm sub roll. Fucking delicious. The Nahant cops can not stop the latest Turkey Bomb craze on the Island. All the locals want to do, is eat Turkey Bombs, and watch softball. The police have been stalking the parking lot, looking for NSL players who have eaten too many Turkey Bombs and pulling them over.

Just last week, the Celtics gave the hoo-haa to the abnormally flaccid-cocked Lakers in game two, of the best of seven NBA Championship. On the same night, Matt "Mad-Hatta" Hatfield got pulled over by the NPD in suspicion of over consumption of Turkey Bombs. After a short field sobriety test Hattaberg was put into protective custody for the inability to stand on one foot, flap his wings like a seagull, and bark like a dog.

The OSHA limit for outside work is a 95 degree temperature with 70 percent humidity. We exceeded this standard on both Monday and Tuesday of this week. No one should have legally done work outside, those of you who did, God Bless.

This weather didn't stop Captain's pitcher Mike "Party Boy" O'Brien from putting in hours during the heat wave. O'Brien operated a one-man, self-propelled lawn mower, and used it to drag himself around Nahant, on a skateboard, dressed only in a Speedo.

O'Brien lost a tough one on Monday night, as the Green Sox slaughtered the Captains team, 20-9. The Sox stay put at 2-1, Captains falls to 0-4. Vlad "Pepperoni Nipples" Aleksyian quit the Captains squad after Monday's loss, citing bad team chemistry; his league fees have been refunded. His work as a male nipple model suffered from a couple of head-first slides into home at Lowlands Field.

Tuesday featured the NFL, riding a three game winning streak, and The Gulls. The Gulls put up some big numbers early, and built a sizable lead. The infuego NFL team came storming back, with a 16 run inning, 14 of the runs with two outs. NFL sees themselves a half game out of first at 4-1, as the Gulls look forward to a match-up with the resurgent Green Sox, in "Friday Night Lights".Wednesday pitted the archrival Barbarians against the Galaxy, in a who's who of Nahant Softball. A back-and-forth battle throughout, the game was not without its fair share of controversy. After a superb catch by the Galaxy center fielder was called a drop, three runs came across for the Barbrians, Galaxy, with the help of the home-town crowd, got payback with a safe-call on a close play at second.

A mêlée ensued, and the umpire was close to being Barbarian feed.The inning resulted in enough runs to knot the score at twelve, and into extra innings it went.The Barbarians preserved their unbeaten record with a run in the top half of the eighth and sound defense in the bottom.

Beat LA.

Friday Night Lights, tonight at 6pm features the Green Sox and The Gulls.