Team Sand Bar

There is a new team in the NSL, The Sand Bar. Bart, AKA Mouth, Bennet, will be managing his third ballclub in as many years. Bart's ultimate goal for his squad, don't become the second ever winless team in the history of the NSL. (The only team to go winless was the 2005 PoPo's team) The team will be comprised of many new faces and some old names from the 2008 Captains team. No longer will a grease covered, muscle pant wearin, sub making car salesman named George be gracing the field. He will however, be robbing us blind every time we buy a luke warm case of Bud. The best nipples in the Nipple Business is back to Captain the Sand Bar Team, a true original, VLAD.














Now for those of you who don't know, The Sand Bar is an actual business, a small sports bar with pool tables and dart boards. Sounds like a pretty nice place. Its off the fucking Lynnway, a three mile strip that not only looks like shit, it literally smells like someone shoved shit pellets in your nostrils while you drive down this pot-hole ridden joke of a highway. And speaking of nostrils, from the years of 2002-2005, Smuggler's Cove, located adjacent to the Lynnway, was the spot to score low grade cocaine.


Through a short on-line search I came upon some reviews of The Sand Bar which included:

Newest place to be in Lynn. Sand Bar knows how to throw a party! Best time ive had on the North Shore in years. Everyone friendly and a good atmosphere. only bad part was leaving at the end of the night. smaller inside, but big on the fun. Girls were coming in 5 at a time. what more could you ask for?
-Michael

First of all the newest place to be in Lynn, is Lynn Woods, in a cave, shivering in fear, while listening to the ring of gunshots. Like Smugs, it sucked to leave at the end of the night because you knew you were going to be up for the next two days. Finally, the only place where women come in 5 at a time is a Gynocologist.

THIS place was off the hook!!............tons of hot college chicks,great atmosphere,great drinks,my friends and i will def be back!seems to be the new "hot spot",ratio of girls to guys was excellent,(bathrooms were a little small tho),i give it a 10 out of 10
-Mike


What in god's green earth does this man mean when he says college chicks. Most likely he is refering to the 45 year old clan of buzzards that frequent the Sand Bar after their night class in Phonics at North Shore Community. The only "hot spot" is between the legs of the women who pop- a- squat between the outside wall of Dimes and the dumpster. Again, the only reason why a man would complain about the size of a bathroom is because their wasn't enough room to cram three people into a stall to divie up a dollar bill filled with La Coca.

Seems to be the newest hot spot in the area. Bartenders were smokin and pretty friendly. Pool table was expensive at $1.50 per game. Large Plasmas were awesome.
-Chris Brown


Again, hot spot gives you conotations of an anal rash of some sort which is how I feel about the Lynnway. I have been known to smoke a squalley or two, so the fact that the bartenders were smoking makes this place a little bit more appealing. Also, Chris Brown has fallen on some hard times since beating the piss out of Rihanna, maybe this place isn't so bad after all.














Definitions-
1. Buzzard: (noun) 45+ year old woman who frequents bars and clubs either alone or with other similar women or gay men. The buzzard is the step above a cougar. Cougars are known to prey upon young professional men, buzzards often play dead in order to be scrapped upon by passer-by's.